am i awake or does caffeine make me think i'm awake?
written: 6:11 a.m. on Sunday, Sept. 30, 2007

Guess what? I'm already over the word limit and I have not even begun to do what I originally wanted to do.

I am upset.

I am also extremely delirious - four cups of coffee, two black 'cause I ran out of milk, most of them on an essentially empty stomach. My eyes are only wide open because the caffeine is keeping them that way. I am wide awake, not sleepy, but OH. SO. TIRED.

I would continue writing Part Two, but I don't think I can think anymore. This should be evident from this shit I randomly came up with some 15 minutes ago: Is law a social choice?

What the fuck? I am not going to think about whether law is a social choice. It has nothing to do with my whole paper which is on majority voting, for crying out loud.

Shut up, Brain. Just stop thinking; the rest of us wants to sleep.

On another note, I was on MSN the whole time because, what the heck, and besides, everyone logged off after a certain hour so there was really no one to distract me by talking to me, and even if there were I told them that I couldn't talk 'cause I was writing my research paper. At 5 a.m. I opened my Messenger just to see who was insane enough to be online at 5 a.m. and I saw the following next to Kenneth's MSN name:

"Kenneth is online at 5 bloody am to encourage [Yelen] as she finishes the other half of her paper - stay lucid !! "

Previously he said that he was gonna wake up at 4.30 a.m. to do work and he'd go online to say hi to me 'cause I told him that I was gonna be up all night doing my paper. I didn't think that he'd actually 1) wake up again at 4.30; and 2) go online at 4.30, but he did.

Okay lah, I won't get back at him anymore for that 'maybe you need to cry' comment.

I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm writing anymore. 6.22 a.m. I think if I get up at 12 noon later, I'd have enough time to finish my stupid paper AND edit it.

Oh my god my paper is horrendous. It's below expectations. Shit. I hate it.

I need sleep now.

**

Edited to add at 9.14 p.m.:

After one gruelling week of nothing but Rational Social Choice, I have finally finished writing my paper.

Problem? My word count is 5298. The word limit is 4000.

Another problem? My thesis changed halfway through writing it and so half my introduction is irrelevant.

Yet another problem? I haven't properly cited references to newspaper articles and law reform commission reports because I have no idea how to cite those things. I can't find my Carswell/McGill citation guide. And my walking citation guide is not online.

Overall problem? I WANT TO DIE.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010