(David Cook +) Underrating happiness.
written: 11:37 p.m. on Tuesday, Apr. 22, 2008

If I'm being honest, I'm still upset about NumberOneAlbumgate (what, did you think I was kidding in the previous entry?) and TWoP's all ominous and pessimistic and people are saying that David has been de-pimped, which totally calls for a classic freak out of OMGOMGOMG proportions. But honestly? I don't want to think about it anymore. This really shouldn't have happened, considering I was into Blake enough last season to be convinced that this season of Idol wouldn't be interesting at all. But David Cook happened; he is talent and amazing and hot and hilarious and sweetheart and word nerd packed into one David Cook. It was, quite honestly, a Crush of the Millennium just waiting to happen. And it did, and I won't deny it, and so if he doesn't make the finals/win, I think I'd honestly be extremely heartbroken to the extent that I wouldn't be able to eat or sleep or do anything else but cry for David.

Okay, maybe I wouldn't cry (though I suspect I might) but yeah, the point is, I would be VERY FUCKING SAD, and it would be even worse than having a boyfriend dump you because no one would understand why you're so upset and they'd just think that you're being completely retarded. Getting your heart stomped on by a boyfriend, though, immediately warrants sympathy and empathy and friends offering you shoulders to cry on. I can't imagine anyone giving a damn about my fragile mental state if Cookie doesn't make the finals/doesn't win/etc, let alone offering me a shoulder to cry on.

Oh David, I wish I knew how to quit you.

You know, the press should start leaking his song choice instead of writing nonsense about his Oh My God So Earth-Shattering independently-produced CD and his Oh My God He Played Gigs At Local Bars?! level of experience. I hate that I have to wait until he's performed to find out what he's singing since I'm usually asleep by the time TMZ.com leaks everyone's song choices. I'm dying to know what Andrew Lloyd Webber song David picked, and if he picked Music of the Night which I'm really really really DYING to hear him sing.

Then again, I probably wouldn't be able to sleep all night if the song choices are leaked any earlier than usual. Case in point: Last week with Always Be My Baby. I found out at 9 a.m. on Wednesday and I was like, "What the fuck?" If I'd known the night before, I would probably be up all night worrying about how he'd do.

But if there's anything I've learned about David at all these past two months, it's this: It's always expect the unexpected with him. God, I truly do love him to bits and pieces.

***

Anyway, I kind of flove my new layout so yay.

Yesterday I dragged my mom to Orchard 'cause Gramophone called me to tell me that the Stereophonics album was FINALLY in stock. I ordered one from eBay about two weeks ago and it hasn't arrived so I'm assuming it's lost in the mail. Fuck and all and I hope the seller will refund me.

I ended up buying a new bag from Esprit that cost about...I can't remember. 85? 90? Somewhere there. It's prettyful OMG, and big enough for school, I hope.

I find that I seem to have ten million random bags but whenever I go out I'm always using the same bag. I just think it's a major hassle to transfer your stuff from one bag to another and since I'm too lazy to do that, I just use the same bag over and over. I don't even bother treating the bag as an accessory, unless I'm feeling particularly dressy on a certain day and want to make an extra effort...which, honestly, hasn't happened much nowadays.

I seriously need to get my life back. First Bell's Palsy hijacked it, then in the process of fighting off BP, David Cook picked up the slack and completely took over my life. He has to let go soon, because this? Is not cool. At all.

On a serious note, I do feel quite blah about everything. Life in general. Law school, as usual. Pupillage applications in July. Graduation next year. And I don't want to work.

Or rather, I do want to work; I fear nothing about the working world. I guess my perennial problem is this: I still don't really want to do the lawyer thing.

You'd think that I would have stopped struggling by now. It's been 3 years, but it's precisely because it's been 3 years that I'm even more alarmed to find myself back at square one. And it's the same square one with the same corners: I still want what I wanted when I was 17/18. I want to milk the starving writer route, I want to suffer for my art (or pretend-art), I want to do what I want to do, not what I have to do, and not what I don't mind doing.

I don't wish to flog the "no one understands me" dead horse too much, but quite honestly, I have been feeling like that a bit lately. It's one thing to sympathise, but quite another altogether to truly understand just how much of a struggle, and increasingly constant one at that, this whole thing is. I wish I could leave it at "doing it for the money" but things are never as simple as that; I only wish they were.

I still desperately want to get out of this country because I still feel like there's nothing for me here. I feel stagnated and stuck in a rut and when I think about the future I see only a straight road heading to nowhere. The mere thought that this - law school, the social circle, this country, my house - is pretty much it is enough to make me quite upset - and I'm putting it very mildly.

It's not so much that I want to stay in school because I enjoy school. It's really more a case of 'staying in school lets me delay the moment of truth', the moment in which I have to make a decision and finally choose. And because I already know what I'm going to do, I just want to put it off for as long as I possibly can.

No one normal weeps at accepting a S$4500/month pay check, and I'm not talking about tears of joy. (Besides, it's really not that super a lot so what's there to weep tears of joy for?)

And so it comes back to this: I know what I'm going to do. I don't want to do it. And I don't know what to do about that.

***

Aiya fucking stupid angst whatever. Hopefully Europe will change my life. Whatever.

On a completely superficial note, oh my god, I never knew Kelly Jones was 12 years older than me and a father. He named his daughter Lolita Bootsey, oh my god. Totally WTF, seriously.

And I'm talking about Kelly Jones now because I want to say that Stereophonics' latest album is FAMAZING. It came with a bonus DVD of them performing four songs during their Wembley gig, and after watching the DVD, I'm even more convinced that I HAVE to be in front of the stage next Monday and throw something soft and cuddly at Kelly Jones, or my live concert experience will not be complete. I seriously contemplated buying that S$250 VIP package whatever thingy that will get me priority entry into Fort Canning, as well as BACKSTAGE FUCKING PASSES, but my good sense prevailed. I mean, I totally dig Stereophonics, but I'm not Crazy! Obsessed! with them the same way I'm crazy obsessed with David.

If it's David though, I'd SHELL OUT THAT MONEY without even thinking about it. I'd even fly to nearby Southeast Asian countries to watch him perform. He's quite popular in the Philippines and I'm convinced that he's never going to set foot in this country, so I'll just have to take myself to him. Yup. How awesome, right? I think so too.

Why does everything I write about somehow find its way back to David Cook?

Back to Stereophonics. I'm now completely stoked about the concert and I will die and go to heaven when they play Dakota. I will totally need to record it because it's my favourite freaking song. I liked the song first, then the band. And I like it so much that I would actually hesitate to say that I want to hear David sing it, because I'm convinced that no one can sing Dakota but Kelly Jones - and we all know that I think David can sing anything. (See, back to David again.)

Actually, Kelly being a father kind of makes him less hot. Nobody wants to date a man with baggage, or randomly hook up with a man with baggage. It's just weird, or at least it is to me. You're screwing someone's father - that's just wrong on so many levels that I can't even begin to say.

And you know, to this day I haven't figured out how in the world someone managed to name his/her son Kelly. Like, for realz.

Butttt WHATEVER! Stereophonics is probably my favourite band now and I WILL GET TO SEE THEM LIVE. It's just - wow. I was quite convinced at one point that I was going to die without ever attending a rock concert because the bands that come here are usually crappy shit like The Click Five and...some other shit that I don't listen to. For a band that I actually like enough to pay S$98 to see live to give me an opportunity to pay S$98 to see live is just mind blowing. Totally.

The album is really quite fantastic though. As expected, Pass the Buck kicks all kinds of ass, as does It Means Nothing (the way they performed it live was absolutely mesmerising), which is currently my favourite song from the album. I also love Daisy Lane even though it sounds a bit like It Means Nothing (and the title made me think of Penny Lane which is, like, a Beatles song or something? She is Kate Hudson's character in Almost Famous).

Oh wait, I just realised that Pass the Buck isn't a single. WOW, I am quite shocked; it's totally single-worthy. I'm also surprised that It Means Nothing is the first single from the album. I love it, but it's not really radio-friendly the way Pass the Buck is and Dakota was (and is).

But whatever. I'm glad I got the CD in time to familiarise myself with their new songs before the gig! I was going to buy their first two albums too but in the end I got lazy and decided not to. And even though I have Just Enough Education to Perform, I hardly listen to it and I can only hum one song (Mr Writer). In fact, I don't even know where my CD is. Must listen before next Monday omg!

Lastly, I've decided to capitalise my entry titles properly because the new layout totally lends itself to proper capitalisation. Yay.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010