Redefining 'unprecedented'.
written: 10:29 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 20, 2008

Guess why? Because I couldn't sleep. I went to bed at about 1-something, tossed and turned until 2.30 in the morning when I got up to listen to some music 'cause I couldn't take it anymore, then went back to bed at a few minutes past 3, tossed and turned some more, then at 4.10, when I decided that I really wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, wrote a note to my parents telling them not to wake me up for class later and read a few pages of the UN Law book.

It was really awful. I think I finally fell asleep at 5-something. This unprecedented (for a while now anyway) bout of insomnia leaves me with no choice but to conclude: I am stressed. I spent the night thinking about all the things that are wrong with my life, starting from the obvious fact of my long-lasting, deep-seated academic ennui which is going to lead to academic ruin really soon if I don't snap out of it. The thing is, I'm so fucking burnt out and disillusioned that I can't really bring myself to care enough to force myself to do what I know I can do. I'm just lazy. I'm lazy, and disillusioned, and jaded, and irritated, and the school isn't helping matters by forcing me to choose my Semester 2 modules when I'm still in the midst of struggling to figure out my current semester modules (seriously - WTF, school?! Unprecedented level of shittiness. And I thought the snafu regarding balloting this semester was bad enough). I'm so irritated with school - so irritated. I don't even know what to say anymore.

And school, by the way, is just one thing. The other things...let's just say that I'm soooo excited about the Basel tournament this week because it's yet another way for me not to think about things. Sorry, everyone's gonna have to put up with my Roger Federer/tennis entries for just a bit longer, until the end of the 2008 ATP season (which ends with the Shanghai Masters Cup in like, early November). Oh well!

Whatever.

On another note, I just came back from tennis and I swear I'm never going to wear a dark-coloured, fitting t-shirt again. I was too lazy to change out of my "arrrrrr you free Saturday night" dark green pirate t-shirt that I wore to school, so I wore it to play tennis.

Big. Fucking. Mistake. Only wear dark-coloured shirts if they're dri-fit/Nike dri-fit, not when they're like, 100% cotton. Trust me on this.

We did serve today. My serve...I don't even know. But then, nothing can beat my forehead in terms of Pathetic, so I guess in relation to that, my serve is all kinds of Awesome. Bleah! I still can't get my freaking forehand to work and I don't know why. Worse, I did something horrible today. The tennis court is on the third floor and it's open-air with some high fences to prevent the balls from flying out, but when I attempted to hit a ball, guess what it did?

It flew out of the fucking court. As in, over the high fence, out of the fucking court, onto the car park below.

I was so mortified. SO damn mortified. Thankfully the coach wasn't around to witness that humiliating "shot" so I didn't get a scolding.

I am so amazing, I don't even know what to say.

I also tried serving like Roger but it didn't work. He makes it look so damn easy that I'm still surprised when I'm doing the actual playing and I find out that he's been deceiving the world the whole time. It's Not That Easy, Don't Be Fooled By Federer's Ease of the Game! He doesn't pull his arm all the way back where his racquet touches his back; he just raises his right arm, pulls up his left, and releases the ball in mid-air, then swings his right arm down and just like that, an ace (or a double fault if you want to be negative about it. But why would you?). I tried doing that and I almost did something nasty to my shoulder. There must be a reason why Stockholm was going to pay him $700,000 just to appear in the tournament, and why no one is ever going to even conceive of the idea of conceiving of the idea of asking me to play in tournaments. HAHAHAHA.

I had this pretty awesome Eureka moment, though, when the coach was working on my forehand and telling me to swing the racquet straight towards him. He was moving my arm forward, and I was looking at my arm, and all of a sudden I had this mental flash of Roger doing the exact same thing. Okay, it wasn't the exact same thing literally; for one, he did it on his own, duh. But I actually understood what the coach meant by swing the racquet towards him, because I've seen stills of Roger in action (duh), not to mention Awesome! slow-motion replays of his winners, and sometimes Roger's racquet is almost parallel to the net (assuming he's hitting while standing parallel to the net) when he's returning a shot. Absolutely gorgeous.

Me? Needless to say, I think it's an incredible achievement that I don't burst out laughing at my own shots. Trust me, I get the urge a lot but always have to fight them back to prevent myself from looking even more frivolous than I already look. I swear the coach doesn't take me seriously. Ever since he found out I'm a student and that I'm a law student, he's been making jokes about me studying too hard to be able to play tennis. I'M SO SAD. And it's not even true! I don't even freaking study!!! I spent most of my time watching tennis, thank you very much, but alas, that doesn't translate to being able to play. If only it were that simple, right?

Anyway, I'm quite pleased that I can actually get my serves in standing at the baseline. The form, though, is another issue altogether, but hey, one small victory at a time. I'm amazed that I can actually effectively throw the ball with my LEFT HAND! See, I'm not that uncoordinated after all.

...Though having said that, when I was attempting to return my partner's serves, the result was largely horrendous.

Oh well! One small victory at a time.

Okay, my dad's done in the shower. I'm gonna wash myself of dried sweat and grossness now. I'm itching to watch tennis so I think I'm gonna spend the rest of the night watching Federer v Ferrer at last year's Shanghai TMC final. YAY!

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010