So sick of studying, therefore recourse to cheap humour.
written: 5:31 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 24, 2008

Anyway, Uncyclopedia is hilarious! Andy Murray is not an ostrich, Rafael Nadal is a camel, Novak Djokovic assassinated Franz Ferdinand, and Roger Federer is a girl.

My favourite is the Djokovic article.

"Serving: Novak introduced 'super bounce' into today's tennis game. He says that bouncing the ball around 20 times prior to serving, creates perfect pressure inside the ball improving the serve."

To be fair, he only bounces the ball ten times max before serving, but point taken.

"Shots: Forehand: If it weren't for some players who have better forehands, Novak would have had the best forehand in the game. Back-hand: Standard double handed backhand with small adjustment in the body positioning. By stretching out the legs he can add more spin and control over the ball (as shown in picture). Volley: If the net was 3" lower, no one would have a chance against his volleys. Serving: Great serve - rarely makes a double fault - definitely one of the top 50."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"Family: ... Their talents are not just restricted to the supporters' box, as Dijana [mother] has proved to be quite the clairvoyant, proclaiming "The King Is Dead! Long Live The King" after her widdle wonder beat the now deceased MonoFed."

Aww, MonoFed! Thankfully, MonoFed is now deceased.

"Australian Open 2008: Novak Cockovic surprisingly made it into the semi-finals where he beat World Number 1 Federer after a superb display of yelling, chest thumping, ball bouncing and staring at the umpire. In the Final, Cockovic lost the first set to Thonga. He then decided he wanted to impersonate Roger Federer and, as a result, he won the next 3 sets."

HAHAHA. I love how even the people who write these satirical articles about tennis players still clearly love Roger.

Speaking of Roger: "If Federer couldn't hit his forehand, his serve or any volleys, he'd be in a lot of trouble. As we all know, he has a decent backhand, but if you can somehow manage to consistently hit the ball deep and make it bounce up high to shoulder height, then he might not hit a winner every time."

Hee! I love Roger muchly.

Sarah Palin: "As Vice President, Palin hopes to travel overseas for the first time, and spread her "twinkle and shine" personality to American allied countries, from England to the UK."

Okay I need to go back to boring myself to death with utterly boring shit.

**

ETA:

Singapore: "Although Singapore has been largely forgotten in the annals of world history, the city-state has seen tremendous growth in terms of international recognition; since the beginning of time, a worldwide poll ranked Singapore as the 4th country "that no one would miss if it were completely obliterated next Tuesday", beating Bhutan and Vanuatu by a wide margin."

HAHAHAHAHA. I'M GONNA DIE.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010