Two words.
written: 9:13 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 01, 2009

He lost.

*

ETA:

Tennis is as much a mental game as it is a physical one. Today, Roger lost it mentally. He was the better player, but he didn't believe in himself enough to win in the fifth. Watching him serve at 2-5 in the last set was simply excruciating. His shots flew wide, his serves went nowhere. Then Nadal won.

It breaks my heart. I turned the TV off immediately after Roger's shot was called out on match point and didn't watch the ceremony. But I read that he cried while accepting the runner-up plate, and that he said, "This is killing me."

I don't know how people do this - invest so much in one person, follow his career for years, sit through five-set championship matches like this one, and risk the possibility of a heart break. I don't know how they do this over and over. Because right now I genuinely feel like I can't watch another second of tennis ever again in my life.

This is absolutely killing me. The worst part is, I know that the only reason he lost today is because he defeated himself mentally. He shouldn't be afraid of Nadal; anyone with eyes can see that he has the more complete game, the more intellectual game. If he'd brought his best tennis with him, he would have absolutely won. But he started out so nervously, letting Nadal break him in the opening service game, and although he fought back and tried his darnedest to win, he couldn't.

He couldn't, because Nadal was in his head. And I absolutely hate that he lets Nadal get to him in such a cruel, heartbreaking fashion.

I finally understand why his fans hate matches between him and Nadal. I wouldn't want to watch another one for the rest of my life. We all know who the better player is...which is why it just breaks my heart to see him self-destruct. He's played much better than this in grand slam finals.

I'd say Nadal played well, which I'm sure he did, but I just have absolutely zero appreciation for his tennis at all. He's a bull, while Roger is an artist. And I'm absolutely gutted that the artistic lost out to the bullish today.

I still believe in him. I always will. No amount of devastating losses and defeats and self-destruction can make me turn my back on him. He's the best there is; there's still no one else. There is no one else.

I just feel so, so drained right now. These Grand Slam finals - way too emotionally draining.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go to school pissed off tomorrow, so apologies in advance - to Mag especially - if I don't respond to you. I'm going to take a while to recover from this. I really believed he'd win, and I'm not an optimistic person. I think I jinxed him, actually. Next time, I'm not going to be so bold in my predictions and hopes anymore. In fact, I dreamt that he beat Nadal in straight sets, and my dreams never come true. The opposite often happens.

So yeah. Roger, I'm so sorry. It was all my fault.

He would have won against anyone else today. Just not Rafael Nadal.

Oh god, this is such a fucking nightmare. Best part? I didn't even watch how he got broken in the last set because I was in the toilet.

Really - anyone else but Nadal, and he would've bagged his 14th. I just can't believe this. I can't. And I don't understand WHY WHY WHY he's so afraid of Nadal.

ETA at 11.45 p.m.:

BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.

I believe in Roger Federer. Until the end of fucking time.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010