Parental guidance not required, thank you.
written: 5:56 p.m. on Saturday, Jun. 20, 2009

Roger's new Rolex commercial for this year's Wimbledon.

OMG!!! HE IS SO SUAVE AND GORGEOUS AND ELEGANT AND BEAUTIFUL.

I LOVE YOU ROGER!

And I just found out Nadal's really not playing Wimbledon. SHIT WHYYYY. I would've loved to see Murray lose to him since he's hell bent on shooting his mouth off about beating Nadal and Roger at Wimbledon. Fuck off lah retard. Okay, I guess the bright side is, Nadal loses a ton of points and when Roger wins his 15th Grand Slam and 6th Wimbledon, he will get back his #1 ranking.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

I'm actually really pissed off right now at my dad. Sometimes the things he says really don't make an ounce of sense, and therefore he makes me feel like he doesn't know me, like he underestimates my intelligence and sense, like me and him are from two different planets.

And in a way, that's not untrue. He epitomises the traditional, conservative Chinese man, and...I don't. I have liberal ideas that I don't apply to my own life to be sure, but his thinking and mine hardly intersect. But what's most aggravating is the way he jumps to conclusions, make wild, baseless assumptions, and in the process, completely underestimates me.

It applies similarly to both my love life (the guys I choose to date) and my professional life. He thinks there's just one path for me - the same path he took. Or rather, the path that he didn't take which he wish he'd taken. I love my dad very much, but the day I become as cynical as him is the day I'd much rather not live. I cling on to my idealism and my values because they are who I am. I am nothing without them. Of course, it's paramount that they are tempered with a dash of realism, and I think I possess that in spades. I'm not some naive, bright-eyed babe wandering around, lost in the woods; I'm much smarter, much more aware, than that. And one wonders, sometimes, where he gets off lecturing me about the realities of the corporate world when he's never really been in such an environment.

I guess I can't blame him. The language disability makes it impossible for him to read the stuff I've written, and my inability to express my thoughts and ideas in Chinese probably means that a lot of what I really think are lost in translation when I try to convey to him in Chinese. It's sad, it really is, but I've tried my hardest, and there's just nothing I can do when talking to him is like talking to a brick wall.

I don't know why he thinks it's better for me to continue judging people by the kind of grades they have, where they go to school, what degrees they possess, if any. To me, it's a prima facie test to separate the wheat from the chaff; but continuously judging a person by those criteria, even if you know him personally, is nothing more than narrow-minded, myopic, and snobbish. I don't deny that I'm a snob, and neither do I deny that, ceteris paribus, I wouldn't even conceive of the idea of dating someone whose qualifications aren't at least on par with mine.

But there are always exceptions to the rule. And I don't make exceptions easily. But having said that, even, just because I make an exception once, doesn't mean anything more is going to come from that. Just because a certain fact pattern looks like it's going to lead to a certain conclusion doesn't mean that it really is going to lead to that conclusion. There is no such thing as "confirm will get together" because the only thing that is certain is that everything is uncertain. And the only other thing that is certain is that I have issues.

Sometimes, I can't be bothered to talk to my parents about important things, because they don't really listen. Talking to my mom about what I want in life is like talking to some 6-year-old child. Talking to my dad about the opposite sex is just...I don't even know. I can't even describe it. I just don't understand what he's bloody thinking, why he sees me as the persona that I portray to the world to protect myself, and not the person I really am.

Well, whatever. On to happier thoughts.

***

Thursday night I watched Drag Me to Hell and I was deeply traumatised. It was actually not really that scary; it's just that I can't watch horror movies, and in suspenseful, tension-filled moments leading up to the big shock with loud sound effects that makes you jump, I simply cannot watch. I was watching it with my eyes half-closed most of the time, peeking at it between my fingers, so I didn't really watch it properly. It was actually hilarious from what I saw of it, but sadly, the hilariuous was grotesquely hilarious. Horrifically hilarious. I just couldn't watch. It was simultaneously gross and scary, AND hilarious.

But the seance scene towards the end was just fucking hilarious though. That wasn't so scary so I watched the whole thing and I couldn't stop laughing.

Anyway, I'm glad the movie ended the way it did. If it'd been any other way, I would've called freaking Bullshit.

***

Last night I had dinner with Kenneth. He's finally back from Nottingham/travelling around Europe. He bought me a stuffed reindeer from Norway and a box of chocolates from the UK. Aww so sweet. Yay.

***

Tennis this morning was...I made an effort to get my footwork right, and at first I was constantly moving around and hopping on the spot while waiting to receive the ball (makes it faster to get the feet moving towards the ball), and that really seriously tired me out. After a while I reverted to my usual lazy way.

I'm not happy with my progress but NUS Wall Guy was of the opinion that I played not bad. Oh well.

Then again, I always demand a lot from myself.

***

I brought home my work. Couldn't focus on Friday; was having a huge headache. It's a super obscure research point though, which means I'm gonna die tomorrow doing it. Yipee. It's due on Monday so I have to finish it tomorrow or else I will look like a lazy, uncommitted ass who can't finish her work, which wouldn't be good, now would it?

***

Okay have to get out of the house before it rains.

I can't be bothered to deal with my dad.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010