Solstice, almost.
written: 1:26 a.m. on Sunday, Nov. 15, 2009

I wish I had tennis to watch right now because I'm feeling really depressed.

I wish I had a boyfriend - the boyfriend - to talk to right now because I'm feeling really depressed.

Talk about not cherishing what you have until it's gone.

On top of it all, the cough lingers on. It's really annoying having to cough these little short, small coughs everytime I inhale a little bit more deeply.

I wish my parents were here. I feel like how I did when I was in London by myself - as if I were the only person in the whole wide world.

It's so sad, so numbing. I wonder if I'd feel like this if Wei Chuen and I were currently talking.

I wonder if we'd still be "us" this time tomorrow.

I'm tired, and I'm sick, and I don't want to study for something I don't care about, I don't want to do something I don't care about, I'm sick, my parents are not here, my boyfriend hates me, my friends have their own lives to live, I'm not close enough to my brother, I'm sick, I'm sick of being sick, and there's no tennis on TV.

I hate this day. And thinking of going out to settle lunch AND dinner again tomorrow is just so incredibly tiring; I can't begin to express how difficult it is to keep going out to buy food. You run out of things to eat after a while. There's just nothing to eat.

I'm so fucking bored.

And I miss him so much.

before sunrise // before sunset

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