REVIVED!
written: 12:00 a.m. on Thursday, Dec. 31, 2009

Why don't I start with why I locked it. Makes more sense right?

Apart from the obvious, as can be seen from the preceding entry (i.e. I was moody), a part of me felt like I couldn't be bothered with this anymore. I don't write frequently anymore, and when I do write I don't write the things that I want to write. It felt a bit pointless and I felt REALLY unmotivated.

But now, I think it's just not me not to have this. This stupid online thing has been such a huge part of me that I feel like something's not right when I click on my link and am prompted for my password. Not writing in it is weird too. Of course, I can write and keep it private; but what's the point? If it's going to be online, it should be public. (This doesn't explain my barely-updated livejournal - yes I have one - which is private and open to like 3 people, but we all need SOME degree of privacy.) Otherwise, it's called a diary - which, of course, I have.

Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I shall move on to what I wanted to say.

SO THIS STUPID EVONY SHIT? I FUCKING HATE IT. I WENT TO WORK, WENT OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND, CAME HOME, AND DISCOVERED THAT SOME FUCK CONQUERED MY CITY. AND IT WAS NOT JUST ANY CITY - IT WAS MY VERY FIRST FUCKING CITY, THE ONE THAT I PUT THE MOST EFFORT INTO, THE ONE WITH MY HIGHEST ATTACK HERO (MSHARAPOVA), HIGHEST POLITICS HERO (R.FEDERER), AND MOST AMOUNT OF FOOD (OVER ONE FUCKING BILLION WHICH DID NOT FUCKING COME EASY). I THOUGHT, "THIS ASSHOLE IS GONNA GET IT FROM ME." I THOUGHT I'D INSTANT CONQUER A LEVEL 10 NPC THAT'S 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM MY EX-CITY AND TAKE IT BACK AND I THOUGHT I'D DO IT OVER THE LONG WEEKEND.

BUT GUESS WHAT. I JUST CHECKED TO SEE IF IT'S STILL THERE AND THE FUCKER ABANDONED MY CITY.

WHICH MEANS IT IS GONE FOREVER. (I never knew YAY only sat on a Level 7 flat though.)

OH MY GOD.

Okay, strangely I'm not as pissed as I thought I'd be. I'm quite relieved actually; this saves me the trouble of getting it back, which would be damn troublesome, and I mostly can't be bothered. I just wrote to the Aussie guy who used to be in my alliance to enlist his help in kicking the stupid fucker's ass. I hope his alliance is at war with that idiot's alliance; otherwise Aussie guy wouldn't be able to help.

LE SIGH! What a dumb game. I'm so glad I only spent $14 on it.

You know, if I weren't away at work, there's NO WAY IN HELL my city would've been conquered. Bloody American and his stupid time zone. Serves me right for attacking the Americans when they're asleep (which is like 5 in the evening) I guess, and it's all part of the game, so too bad for me. At least I didn't accidentally abandoned it.

But it's so annoying that I lost it, just like that. I didn't even KNOW. If I'd given one of my alliance mates my account info they could've helped me defend, but noooo. I didn't. And why? I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

I'm so tempted to stop playing the game altogether. ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT? I STILL HAVE A FUCKING STRONG CITY LEFT. TWO ACTUALLY. OUT OF FOUR, BUT YEAH, I HAVE TWO GOOD ONES LEFT. WHICH MEANS I HAVE NO INCENTIVE TO QUIT. If I were left with my weakest one I'd be all, Fuck this shit. I don't know how that works. But I'm getting very lazy and disinterested.

Okay, whatever. It's just a game. Moving on now.

*

The highlight of Tuesday, work-wise, was going to Chloe's firm to inspect documents and having her nearly burst into the meeting room ten minutes into the inspection, all giggly and Chloe.

Haha she was damn cute. Too bad I couldn't talk to her properly 'cause I was with an associate. I wanted to text her and tell her I was going to her firm but I didn't have the chance to.

I can't believe we WALKED there though. I never knew her firm was so far away. I mean, I knew, but never really appreciated it 'cause I'd never been there before. Now I know. And it's really about time we had our Golden Shoe lunch date!

*

I heart Golden Shoe, by the way. The $2 nasi lemak is damn good. And the bee hoon is quite good too. When I'm hungry the first thing I crave for is hawker food, and Golden Shoe does wonders in satisfying my craving.

It's too bad that it's always crowded, hot and smelly. I don't mind, and in fact I don't really care anymore, but I don't want to impose on my lunch companion.

WHICH IS WHY CHLOE AND I SHOULD HAVE LUNCH ASAP! We were supposed to do lunch a while back but she was stuck in court so it was postponed. Yay I can't wait!

*

I was tasked to draw up the index to the plaintiff's bundle of documents a few days ago. It was in the midst of me trying to make sense of the cases I found for some research, and it was like a gift from the gods, almost. My brain was hurting from reading all the cases and I definitely welcomed the break.

After a while, though, I got bored with how mundane the task was - copying and pasting, deleting, inserting table rows below, checking numbers and figures against ten million invoices that are meant to go into the bundle. My brain was very much well-rested, but my attention span was seriously stretched.

A few days ago, while walking back to the office after lunch, a woman approached me. She asked me, "Are you an A Level student?"

Mind you, I was wearing a rather mature-looking work dress from Tangs that I coerced my mom to buy (that cost like $149 and after wearing it I decided I don't really like it anymore. Sad) and even though I wasn't wearing heels, I thought I looked pretty grown-up. But apparently I still look like a kid, which is highly irritating. At some point you wanna be taken seriously, right? And I don't want to look 18, dammit.

But anyway, my point is, she said she was looking for people to work in some new bank. I asked her what kind of job, and she said, "Receptionist."

For three seconds I actually wondered, "Hmm, does that sound interesting?"

Then at the fourth second I caught myself and thought, "Yeah, sure, you'd be bored out of your mind after a month."

That, I think, is the crux of a lot of my self-imposed problems. Short attention span. Get bored easily. Need variety to stay interested. Need something new to do once every few days to keep from dying.

It therefore comes as somewhat of a surprise to me when it was the 28th of this month and Wei Chuen and I had been together for six months. This relationship is officially my longest actual relationship ("actual" automatically discounts my first one, which was a bit of a joke in retrospect), and by far the best. I'm not too into comparing him to my ex-boyfriends, not so much because it's not fair to him, but because, quite frankly, there's nothing to compare to; but if I had to do it, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had. If I had to compare how I felt with the ex and how I feel with Wei Chuen, I'd have to say that there's absolutely no comparison. I continue to be excited to see him; I continue to smile to myself when I text him; and I continue to wake up thinking about him and fall asleep thinking about him.

It's been six months and I think I love him more every day. Despite the weekly fights we've been having, mostly thanks to me, I don't love him any less. I think I love him even more. And I love him so much that I can't imagine a life where I'm not loving him. That life, to me, sounds unbearable and sad. And I don't want it - ever.

I told the ex once that I couldn't live without him. In his anniversary card I told Wei Chuen the same thing. The difference between the two is that the former was borne entirely out of desperation, while the latter was a realisation - a positive one - that he's so important to me that I can't live without him. Of course, I'd be frivolous and facetious to mean it literally; but figuratively, emotionally, I mean it with all my heart.

*

Last night we went to Orchard to change his Ralph Lauren shirt. I sat down on one of the couches for a bit because I was quite tired. He handed me his wallet (WHICH I BOUGHT FOR HIM AND HE HASN'T LOST IT YET!) and the shirt, and went off to look at the clothes. When it'd been too long since he left me, I suddenly realised - SHIT HE WENT INTO THE DRESSING ROOM WITHOUT TELLING ME!

I wanted to use the fact that I bought him the shirt to coerce him into coming out of the dressing room and show me whatever he was trying on. He refused to do it the last time we went shopping, and he'd repeatedly said that he'd never do it. Thus, by virtue of the fact that I bought him the shirt that he wanted to exchange, I was planning to use it as the perfect excuse to unduly influence him to come out and let me inspect, dammit.

But he just went in without saying anything. And I was too paiseh to stand outside and shout his name, so I gave up.

We went to Zara after that where I blew $150 on two pieces of clothing. This, to me, is a hell lot of money. I asked Wei Chuen what was 75+75 or whatever it was; he apparently said "150" or whatever, but in my head it came out as "115". So when I saw the total amount I had a rude shock, and that was when I realised that not only was there something wrong with my hearing, there was also something wrong with my math.

But then again, I've known the latter fact since time immemorial. So - nothing new there.

*

Tonight I hung out with Mag after like ten million years. We went to the MOF place at Raffles City where I randomly ordered some pasta which actually turned out really good. Mag cracked her usual lame jokes and we had our usual retarded conversations, then we had our sometimes-usual intellectual ones.

I love Mag. She's another one I can't live without.

*

OKAY DAMN TIRED I'M GOING TO SHOWER AND SLEEP NOW.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010