oh, my god
written: 7:45 p.m. on Monday, Apr. 22, 2002

As in made out.

As in totally made out.

His hands were everywhere. On my leg, on my breasts, on my butt.

And here's the alarming thing: I loved every single minute of it.

He almost ventured too far, but I stopped him. I realise something: if we were ever to be alone in a room with a bed, we'd probably end up having sex.

Not a good thing. I'm not even 16. Firstly, it's illegal. Secondly, we're not in love (yet).

And third, I'm not even 16!

Oh, god. This is like...this is major. We made out more than we talked. Kissing is one thing. Making out is a whole new different ballgame.

I have to resist the urge to go to his place because I'd probably end up regretting making love to him and if I end up pregnant, my life is over. I don't want my life to be over yet.

But dammit. He makes me horny. There, I finally admitted it. He makes me horny. But I don't do anything about it.

What the hell am I gonna do about this? I can't stop thinking about him. I couldn't stop making out with him.

And I have a frigging test tomorrow!

Oh yes, how can I forget? I was in my uniform. The restaurant does not have tinted windows. We were making out in full view for whoever walks past the place to see, and apparently this old man was staring at us.

Bloody hell! This is terrible. Not so much that some man saw me making out with a guy in my uniform. It's more terrible that I really freaking LOVE making out with him.

On a slightly different note, one of the waiters there thinks I look like Jessica Alba. That "Dark Angel" girl? She's pretty. Better than Britney Spears, at least!

But yes, my problem. Well if it even is one, because how can liking to kiss someone deeply be a problem, right?

It's a problem because I want to do more than that, and I shouldn't even be thinking about it!

It's all his fault. Why is he so freaking attractive?

But seriously. I don't think I have established any sort of connection with him that isn't physical. That could be largely due to the fact that my brain automatically switches itself off whenever I'm with him and I can no longer think.

One day though we'd really have to talk and not make out.

I love the way he kisses me. I love the way he touches me. I love the way he looks at me.

I just love everything about him.

Yet I still feel like there's something missing. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I've known him for 9 days (another reason why my confession is totally alarming). I have a lot of time to really get to know him.

And I am not talking sexually. Come on!

(That was a joke.)

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010