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too much of not enough
written: 3:53 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 06, 2002

So I logged into my guestbook (could you actually do that?) and got a message from star review. If you're reading this, I just want to express my gratitude and appreciation for giving such an awesome review. I had a shitty day in school, and no, I won't spare my readers (ha, ha) the pain of having to sit through it, and reading that review put a smile on my face. Dammit, I really needed that smile. So thank you.

Here comes the bit about the shitty day...well. I forget if I mentioned the bloody Geography test I took last week or something. I said, and I quote, "Geog. was easy." So, tell me something. If a person found a test easy, and was smart enough to fail it, what does it make of that person?

I'm also wondering another thing. 10/20 is considered "just pass", right? Fantastic. So, like, what exactly is 9/20, just fail?

My amazing ability to fuck up never fails to astound me. And there I was, bragging to my friend who studies History that the stupid test was easy enough for me to 'pass with flying colours' (a quote). I know what you're thinking: "it's just a test, you retarded loser, get over it and stop torturing me with your bullshit!"

Try to put yourself in my shoes. This year is an awfully important year for me...we're only halfway into term one, and already I'm failing so many tests. I'm lazy, I'm not focused, I'm easily distracted, I suck at most of my subjects, and I'm supposed to bring back A's in November?!?!?!?! I don't think so!

School is SUCH a bitch.

Today my school commemorated Total Defence Day by fasting from 7.30 a.m. to lunch, which was at 1.30 p.m. or 2 p.m., depending on your timetable. Anyway. We weren't supposed to eat, but did my friends and I care? Noooo. We brought food from our homes and pigged away with the rest of our classmates during recess, with all the windows and doors closed. You know, I'd actually do it if I saw the point in not eating to commemorate Total Defence (which is basically a day for you to feel patriotic and defensive towards your country). The way I see it, my not eating doesn't help the homeless and the starved in any way, shape or form, unless you can somehow convince me they benefit from my starving of myself for one recess. So I didn't do it.

School also collected donations for an organization that helps refugees, and they have a project that aims to raise about...S$3000 to provide education for the refugees. Everyone was supposed to donate a dollar. I donated two. That was a worthwhile cause, not self-starvation like some moron.

I'm trying very hard to not let my lousy performance in school get to me anymore. I've decided that it's simply not worth getting worked up over. What's done's done. No amount of whining could reverse them. And besides, it's only inevitable that I should fail. *shrugs* Too bad. You know?

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010