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well, yes. I pulled this from some random blog. Basically what you do is put your music library on shuffle and answer the questions with songs in the order they come up. it doesn't really make sense at times, but some answers you come up with will freak you out. 1. What's my mood like right now? 2. How's tomorrow going to be for me? 3. What kind of person am I? 4. Am I loved? 5. How can I achieve my highest potential? 6. What should I do with my life? 7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end? 8. What is my best quality? 9. How does my sex life look? 10. What's the meaning of life? 11. What do people think of me? 12. Would I make a good catch? 13. How crazy am I? 14. Will I have a good life in general? 15. Can (insert name here) ever really love me? 16. Can me and (insert name here) ever be more than friends? 17. What's going to happen to me this week? 18. Where will I be a year from now? 19. What is my biggest wish? 20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment? 21. How will I die? 22. What will happen after I die? 23. How do my friends feel about me? ** I checked my exam results and they're the same. A+ C+ C. Extreme? So totally. Such a defining tenet of my character and my life. I still wonder, every now and then, what the hell I'm doing in law when I know it isn't what I want. And the same time last year I was bitching about getting something that looked like B B- C. Well, I guess the upside is, I still can't get a decent grade for those dreary and shit-assed eight-credit modules, which means I'm still the same person. Cool, eh? Fuck this to hell. I need to get better grades for the next semester. Sucks for me, then, that there's no more CLT-ish module, which probably means I'd be looking at three C's when it's time for results-checking again. Can you believe this? Most of the time I can scarcely believe this is actually me. Anyway, I watched Zhang Yimou's Curse of the Golden Flower with the boyfriend last night and I'm still really disturbed by how psychologically disturbing it was. Spoilers are gonna follow this paragraph so be warned, etc. The most disturbing part was when the emperor, played perfectly by Chow Yun-Fat, took off his metal (gold?) belt and started whipping his son - to death. Like, what the fuck? That's probably the goriest thing I've seen in quite a while. And the incestuous angles to the story were also seriously disturbing. Okay, so it was just disturbing, period. The story was simple, the cinematography majestic, Chow Yun-Fat was amazing, Gong Li was also amazing, and Jielun's acting improved. Most importantly? He wasn't the worst actor! The dude who played the eldest son was so much shittier than Jielun. I just wanted to die laughing at some of his facial expressions, ha ha. So the film (props to Zhang Yimou, okay?) was watchable, not too bad, decent. I was kinda falling asleep at some points but I was really tired and it wasn't the film at all. In any case, I think Zhang Yimou's much better when he's doing simpler, human interest films, like Not One Less which I loved. You know, his pre-Hero stuff. His epic period dramas are mostly style over substance, and as much as I value style, I think it's rather meaningless if it's just style without any substance. House of Flying Daggers was style sans substance. Golden Flower wasn't quite; I enjoyed the story, but it was kinda shallow in that respect. I enjoyed the story. That's about it. There's no subtext, nothing, just a simple narration of a very twisted and disturbing story. And I'm not really one that watches a film or reads a novel for the plot. On another but related note, I finally understand how poignant the song that Jielun wrote for the film is. Ju Hua Tai (uh, Chrysanthemum...Platform?). I didn't understand the lyrics, still don't understand 50% of the lyrics, but as the credits rolled with the lyrics of the song plastered on the screen along with its English translation (which was bad) I finally got the context and hell it's freaking sad. I've always loved the part that goes, "Pa ni shang bu liao an/Yi bei zi yao huang." I mean, Fang Wen Shan writes some seriously amazing lines, but those two are just breath-takingly beautiful - especially when put in context of the film and the mother-son relationship between Jielun's character and Gong Li's character. Granted, Jielun's character was super underdeveloped (I chalk some of this down to his limited acting ability and I'm being very kind to him by putting it in those terms) but at the most superficial level you more or less get that he loves his mother very much and is willing to die for her, yadayada. Hence, the richness of the emotion of those two lines is just...like, further compounded. And stuff. You know. Still love Jay Chou's songs. I don't really like the theme song he wrote for the film; sounds way too much like Huo Yuan Jia. Still, he's really quite a talented, brilliant song-writer and you gotta give him that much. And I don't think I unreasonably obsessed over him for four years 'cause I'm not that stupid, so there you go. ** I realise that I can't write from my experiences or about my experiences. You tend to think that your writing is informed by your experiences, but for some reason when I try to fictionalise something based on a personal experience it becomes really, really hard. I don't know where to draw the line, to separate fact from fiction, and I don't want to write about myself. It's when you feel something tremendous that you know has to be put down in writing and you do it the only way you know how - fictionalise it because the best art tells the most truth about life (Julian Barnes) - and you get stuck in the oddest of places and it's too difficult trying to wiggle your way out and so you abandon it. What do you have in the end? Another barely-written prose, along with so many others sitting around in your C Drive. I. Need. To. Write. Something complete. And I also realised that law school and writing well are more or less mutually exclusive. Or rather, doing well in law school and writing well have little to do with each other. I should probably justify this but truth be told I can't really be arsed so I'll just leave it at that. 2006 ends on Sunday. Wow.
before sunrise // before sunset
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