Yelen v. Cab Driver [2008] 6 SLR 666
written: 8:59 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 24, 2008

2. I love Dirty Sexy Money. LOVE it. I hope to hell it doesn't get cancelled!

3. Re. latest Heroes: OMFG DID ADAM JUST DIE. OMG OMG OMG.

***

In other news, I had the most traumatic cab ride to school today. After telling the driver to take me to "Bukit Timah campus" and explaining what "campus" means, he started talking to - or rather, at - me. It started out with him asking me what dialect I was, to which I said Hokkien. He then asked me if I'd heard of some joke about how Teochew girls are pretty, Hokkien girls are...I can't remember, slutty or something, and Hakka girls are stingy. At that point the left eyebrow was already raised, because that kind of crossed the line a little. Indirectly saying I was slutty because I'm Hokkien 5 minutes after getting into your fucking taxi? Really?

But oh, it gets worse. For some completely warped reason that eluded, and still eludes, me, he started talking about how girls these days change boyfriends as often as they change their clothes. I expected some sort of a tirade on how moral-less the modern world is, but he said that it was a good thing because people need to shop around before they can find the right person. Whatever. At that point I kind of wanted him to stop talking because he was making me uncomfortable, but did he stop? Of course not. Instead, he made me even more comfortable by talking about sex.

Oh my effing god I swear I almost died. He was going off about some 9-year-old girl who got pregnant and how she'd slept with like 13 men or something in a two-year period. He actually told me that when girls first have sex it hurts a lot, then asked me why it is that she got pregnant when she hadn't got her period.

LIKE OMG WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK. I was legitimately half-afraid that he'd drive me to some secluded area and rape me and kill me. Seriously, do I have a sign on my face that says "Please Talk To Me About Sex! I Really Want To Hear It!"? I would much rather he ranted about the government like normal cab drivers do than lecture me about how losing my virginity is a very painful experience. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Go ahead and find me attractive; I can't exactly stop you. But for fuck's sake, keep it to yourself.

To add insult to injury, when I finally got to school, he asked me what my name was. Being the fucktard that I am, I told him my name...and he went on to insult it, saying that I needed a "Christian name" because my name sounds very vulgar.

FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU FUCK. I swear he must not speak Chinese because no one that speaks Chinese can possibly say that. I was so insulted - I still am so insulted. Like it's my fault you're so fucking uneducated that you can't distinguish Hokkien from Mandarin? Like it's my fault that you're a Chinese who's Chinese illiterate and so can't think of what the second word of my name can possibly be besides the Hokkien vulgarity? Like it's my parents' fault that uneducated and illiterate and ignorant people like you exist? I have the best fucking name in the entire world, and what's yours, Michael? Oh my god, how fucking unique! You share the same name as 28357185746294689268 other people in the world!

FUCK YOU TO HELL. First you traumatise me by talking to me about sex, then you insult my name? ARE YOU SERIOUS? The more I think about it, the more pissed off I am. That just crossed so many different lines that I can't even begin to say. Who does that, seriously? Who does? Telling a complete stranger that her name is vulgar, BEFORE SHE EVEN PAID YOU FOR THE TAXI RIDE?

If I were a meaner person, I would have refused to pay him. I would have even given him the finger. But it's just too tragic for me that I'm too damn nice. Maybe that's why such shit keeps happening to me, getting hit on by totally weird people, having weird taxi drivers tell me that it's painful for a girl to lose her virginity, then getting my precious name insulted. What a horrible fuckhead. I freaking hate him. HATE him. He said something about 'hope to see you in court', then corrected himself and said that he meant on TV or whatever.

Guess fucking what? I really hope to see him in court, at the opposite side of the courtroom. I'd make sure his ass is kicked so fucking hard, he'd never be able to walk again.

You know, sometimes I think I shouldn't put myself through four years of law school torture for nothing. At times like these, I ought to throw my future-lawyer weight around a bit and intimidate people like the cab driver that offend me, even if I'm making shit up. Not like they'd know the difference anyway, right? Ignorance and fear is a powerful combination; once both are invoked, you can make your victim believe anything, especially when you have the thrust of authority on your side.

Ugh, I'm so pissed off. This is all my dad's fault! If he hadn't driven the car to Malaysia today, I would've driven myself to school and wouldn't have needed to take a cab! I hate that cab driver. I HATE HIM. Can I sue him for trauma? Sexual harassment? Tortious assault? Can't remember the elements of assault but it's got something to do with how the victim was under some fear or apprehension of something bad happening to him right? Well for fuck's sake I was afraid of being RAPED! And bloody hell I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans!!!!!! AND FLATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What an awful, awful experience. Just plain AWFUL. I'd take nonsensical, baseless, incoherent rantings against the government over such bullshit anytime, any day. Why do these things happen to me? Why?

***

Conflicts today was incomprehensible.

Wait, it's always incomprehensible, but today was worse. Imagine being stuck in school on Friday afternoon, listening to some double actionability (which, as Firefox's spell check just told me, isn't a freaking word. Ugh I hate law) rule and some transitional tort and some other I don't even know what concurrence shit that you totally don't understand. Imagine that, then imagine the lesson dragging on thirty minutes past its scheduled end-time. Imagine that, then imagine your bladder on the verge of erupting.

Damn bad. Damn, damn bad. I almost died. I started reading my R2P stuff after a while and I'm pleased to announce that a few nimble Google strokes have produced me very favourable results. I love you, Google. Let's get married.

I shouldn't have taken Conflicts. ARGH. Complete mistake. I don't even know how I'm gonna catch up with all these shit I didn't understand since, well, Day One. I wanna die. Now.

***

On the bright side, I'm gonna go on a soma holiday tonight. Yay! Roger, please, please no more near-heart attacks. I can't take a third one in a row. Once again, he's never met his opponent before (Simone something, some Italian dude) which is always dangerous.

Then again, yesterday's match was his tenth meeting with Nieminen and he played like utter shit. At least he admitted that his coordination was off and that he played badly. If he'd thought that he played well, I would be very, very worried.

Oh well! Major hugs to Roger anyway 'cause he, like, totally rules! Totally.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010