h is for hot
written: 8:50 p.m. on Saturday, May. 18, 2002

I am home with my maid right now. My family is at my aunt's for my 8-year-old cousin's birthday celebration. I wrapped his gift for him using magazine paper (recycling is the answer; gift wrappers are a waste of trees), so that's my gift for him. Yeah. I watched two episodes of "Alias" back-to-back. Man, I want to have Jennifer Garner's arms. My arms are like, flaccid. They are disgusting.

Wait, I should not talk about myself like that. It's all in the mind, right? If I go on saying, "Self, you are sick", I may actually believe that and it may kill me.

But my arms are disgusting.

And I am sweating like a goddamned pig. I'm going to my room soon, with the air-con switched on.

I kind of have the house all to myself. My maid is perpetually in her room, so if you know, I had someone over and we were doing our own thing, she wouldn't know.

God, I miss Gen so bloody much, it's scary, because I don't know what I miss about him, his company or his face?

Did I mention the bloody heat? It's really getting to me big time.

I wish Gen was here with me.

Two nights ago I spoke to him on the phone and his handphone died. He ran out of credit. Tried to call him last night but apparently, he hasn't topped up his card yet, whatever the card is called. And I just realised that the waiter I was rude to one evening is his friend. I thought it was the other guy. His friend is the one Cheryl and The Goofball called "The Smiling Guy". I can't remember if I mentioned this. But whatever. It's not important at all.

I can't wait til May 28. Day of my Chinese exam, yes, but it's also the day I will see Gen! In order to fully utilise and enjoy the time I'd have with him, I have to do well for the exam so that I wouldn't be feeling like shit for the rest of the day.

I have to study. I have to study. You have no idea how much I have to study. Study study study. I haven't my bloody Chinese compo while the rest of the class got theirs back. I am so worried that I would end up fucking up the composition aspect of the May 28 exam and it would pull down my entire grade, because dammit, I need an A1 or my life is over.

Okay, that was a major exaggeration, but you get the picture, don't you?

Fucking hell, I am going to study right now and listen to Jay Chou. Again. I want to buy the Goo Goo Dolls' new album.

GET OFF THE COMPUTER, YOU MORON!

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010