"frankly, my dear...you know the rest." (logan echolls)
written: 4:30 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 10, 2006

I'm sleepy. Nescafe sucks ass; it's absolutely tasteless. We need to go to Marks and Spencer. I miss the Italian Roast coffee.

Caught Walk the Line with Pei yesterday and I was reminded of why I was so obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix in secondary school. He is beautiful. I wish he weren't wearing brown contacts because I love the green of his eyes, just like pure liquid. Such a beautiful, beautiful man, so breath-takingly gorgeous, the way his long lashes quietly glow in the sunlight (yes, it was actually in the film) and those eyebrows, he is so intense and deep and mysterious. I love everything about him - his dedication to his craft (I think he became alcoholic when preparing for the role; he's what they call a Method Actor), his disdain towards stardom and celebrity-hood, the way he's so down-to-earth, the fact that he's a vegan, everything.

Well, everything that I know about him, that is. Except for the part about him being a smoker. But shit, as much as I hate smoking, he looked hot with a cigarette dangling from his lips in the film. He looked super hot when he was drenched in the rain, too. And he was probably the hottest druggie to ever hit the silver screen, and I LOVE that scene in which he was drunk-as-hell before a show and Reese Witherspoon's June Carter called him out on it. He plays a drunk so well; maybe he was drunk on camera, but you believe him all the same. In fact, when he sang the song Johnny Cash wrote about his experiences in the war, you really believed him. The sincerity was written all over his face, conveyed in the tremor of conviction in his voice...just, amazing.

Sigh. I wanna marry him all over again.

The movie itself was good, but not brilliant. I liked the songs, surprisingly, and I'm going to buy the soundtrack. I didn't think I would like music from Southern America, but there you go (and no, not only because Joaquin sang all the songs himself). Reese Witherspoon was surprisingly brilliant in her role too, but for me, Joaquin made the movie.

I want to watch it again, and again, and again.

**

Alias Season 4 finale was quite awesome, largely because Sloane proved to be good when it truly counted. The stupid prerequisite cliff-hanger ending was exactly that though: stupid. "For starters, my name isn't Michael Vaugh"? WHATEVER.

Will be watching Season 5 for Sloane and Sydney. MV can just die for all I care; he's the most boring cute guy on TV in my personal history of TV-watching.

I'm all for shocking plot twists (that BAM! when the car hit a huge lorry thing was certainly shocking) but don't mess with well-established characters; you're just shooting yourself in the foot when you fail to explain the newly-surfaced plot created by your stupid plot twist later on in the season.

I want to buy Alias DVDs.

I still haven't bought my Buffy DVDs.

I can't wait for Veronica Mars Season 2 DVDs.

I can't wait to watch this week's VM tonight! Yay!

**

In other, more serious news.

Firstly, I came home and saw a letter from Cambridge postmarked October 25 2005 waiting for me on the dining table. I tore it open and guess what the hell it was?

Selwyn College's supplementary questionnaire.

The mail was wrongly sent to Solomons, according to the writing on the envelope. No idea where the heck it is but seriously?! No wonder I didn't know what the posters on thestudentroom.com were talking about when they were asking about this questionnaire thing!

I'm pissed off, but not outraged. I highly doubt they rejected me because I didn't return a questionnaire that I was supposed to receive didn't receive until now, so I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. Shrugs, and all that. I gave up the fight a long time ago.

Second, in the middle of Criminal Law I checked my gmail and found out that I've been offered a place for English at Bristol University.

Ah, let the dilemma begin.

Shit, really. I prepped myself for a straight rejection from all 5 UK universities and I thought I'd be rejected everywhere because I'm in law and I thought they wouldn't want someone who's already in a university and don't ask me why I thought that because I don't know anymore, but the point is, I didn't really think about what I'd do if I received an offer somewhere and I was pretty much settled on getting a law degree and taking things from there, but now...I don't know.

On the one hand, Literature has been my defining interest for as long as I can remember. I identify myself by it, other people associate me with it, there's nothing in the world that can possibly compare to it. And there's also the overseas factor: I love the British accent, I want to live overseas, and hell I wanna date a hot British guy!

On the other hand, I want a law degree even if my reason (note the singular) is really stupid, i.e. because it makes me look good, my parents can't afford the tuition, I'm afraid I'd regret my choice if I graduate and can't find a freaking job, and I don't know if I can survive by myself overseas without parents to cook lunch/dinner for me, parents to drive me around, without my friends to hang out with.

Oh well, those considerations aside, it's pretty freaking cool all the same, isn't it? I mean, Euan Blair (who's totally hot) went to Bristol and it's a good school and according to their email their offers rate is about 18%! I saw some pictures of their accommodation online and my god, they're just gorgeous. It's not the wannabe-post-post-modern crap you see in NUS and unlike NUS it doesn't look like a dilapidated, run-down freaking factory; it's gorgeous. And I'm talking old-castle-esque gorgeous.

Have I mentioned the British accent? It's the sexiest thing ever. It makes Simon Cowell sexier than he should be.

I hate having to choose, to make a decision. Especially about something that concerns my future, and my parents' money. I wish I had a benefactor or something, you know? So that I can do whatever I want without worrying about the financial impact of my choices. I really liked my pre-Bristol offer of finishing law school and then applying to Oxford for a second bachelor's degree in English and then going to the States to do my Masters in English, but you kind of need money for that, don't you? Yes, you do. And if I do decide to accept Bristol's offer I still need money to pay for the tuition. And it's a lot, a lot more expensive than law school.

The good thing about the course is that there is only one two-hour exam throughout your whole three years. That's good for a slacker like me; I hate exams and can't be arsed to try to write something brilliant in an extremely short amount of time. What's the point anyway? I like the idea of writing ten million 3000-word essays and letting those essays be your grades.

The thing is, I can see myself liking law school, a few more semesters later. Right now I still don't like it, but I do hate it significantly less than I did last semester. Studying law is good for anyone, regardless of whether or not you intend to practice (currently, I don't intend to). It's the intellectual stimulation, the intangible rewards, that a person will get out of law school that's making it difficult for me to just drop out without finishing.

And yet: Literature and passion, what I've always wanted, awesome British accent...you know the rest.

**

A survey from Night Strider. (She writes brilliantly, by the way. Love the unstoppable enery of her writing. Her Slam Dunk fanfics have always reminded me of writings from the Victorian era.)

1. Think of a person who made a positive difference in your life. What qualities does that person have that you would like to develop?

I genuinely have no idea.

2. Imagine yourself in 20 years. You are surrounded by the most important people in your life. Who are they and what are you doing?

Well, duh - family. We are living in a swanky apartment in some freaking cool and genuine world-class city (unlike Singapore the Wannabe). Or something. This really goes without saying and it doesn't make for a very exciting answer so I shall indulge in some will-never-come-true-even-if-I-died-to-make-it-true fantasies.

I'd be 40 in 20 years, which is a scary thought I shan't dwell too much upon. So yeah, I won the Nobel Prize and everything and everyone wants a piece of me 'cause I'm like so cool and talented and, like, so totally awesome, and I don't really know who I'm surrounded by and I think it's the "I'd be 40" thing. It's too freaky. Forget it.

3. If a steel beam (six inches wide) were placed across two skyscrapers, for what would you be willing to cross? A thousand dollars? A million? Your pet? Your brother? Fame? Think carefully.

The abolition of the death penalty. Or a world-wide ban on meat (that'd be indescribably awesome).

Seriously.

I think.

I hope so.

4. If you could spend one day in a great library studying anything you wanted, what would you study?

Everything!

Okay, nearly everything. I'd start with Literature. Like, from the beginning of time until now, that sort of thing. Then I'd move on to Chinese history which would probably take the next half of my life, after which I'd probably die of info overload and there's the end of my studying-in-a-great-library-session.

5. List ten things you love to do. It could be singing, dancing, looking at magazines, drawing, reading, daydreaming�anything you absolutely love to do.

Writing, reading, watching movies, watching TV, buying and trying on clothes, checking out hot guys, hanging out with friends, talking crap with friends, talking crap to my parents (I do that a lot).

6. Describe a time when you were deeply inspired.

I really wish there were such a time.

7. Five years from now, your local paper does a story about you and they want to interview three people�a parent, a brother or sister and a friend. What would you want them to say about you?

That I'm the coolest person ever, all magnanimous (how to spell?) and genius and things like that. Yeah.

Ha, ha.

8. Think of something that represents you�a rose, a song, an animal. Why does it represent you?

My mom says I'm a tiger. Well, I WAS born in the year of the tiger but she says it's because I'm fierce.

I can be, but I'm not even remotely carnivorous (how to spell?) so that's where the comparison ends.

Um. I don't know.

9. If you could spend an hour with any person who ever lived who would it be? Why that person? What would you ask?

James Dean because he was the rebel to end all rebels; I admired his creative energy; that intensity he brought to his roles is mind-blowing; and Rebel Without A Cause is still my favourite film of all time because he made growing up a lot less lonely than it could've been.

And, well, because he was seriously, serially and illegally hot.

You all saw that coming, I'm sure.

(He's also young forever because he died when he was 24. Gorgeous man.)

10. Everyone has one or more talents. What are your talents? Use the ones listed below or write your own. numbers, words, creative thinking, athletics, making things happen, sensing needs, mechanical, artistic, working with people, memorizing things, decision making, building things, predicting what will happen, accepting others, speaking, writing, dancing, listening, singing, humorous, sharing, music, trivia.

words, memorising things (hence the A in History), writing. Yep.

**

Long entry. I'm sick of it. Tata.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010