the things we live for.
written: 6:33 p.m. on Thursday, Mar. 02, 2006

Still, I didn't think she had anything to worry about.

Yesterday was the release of the A Level results and I messaged her, asking her how she did; and she got AAB A2, B for Economics.

Man, I was proud. I didn't know her at all prior to that one hour at the rooftop cafe going through her prelim answer but I knew that she had it in her anyway.

Apparently though, Jurong Junior Arts didn't do as well as my cohort. Haha, I wonder why. (And no, not because I'm no longer in the school.) Seriously, after two amazing and fantastic Literature teachers left, you really begin to feel sorry for the students they left behind.

I miss my JC days. I'm adjusting better in law school, but I do miss those times when Mel, Pei and I headed to Jurong Point on Tuesdays when we ended lessons at 1 p.m. and sat at Mos Burger for three hours, having lunch and the Mos Double Fudge Cookie (which apparently doesn't exist no more, boo hoo), talking and gossiping our time away. And the study benches during our morning breaks, just parking there and reading/laughing at the graffiti scratched in mostly broken English on the tables, bitching about the lousy command of English that the Science students had (and still have, I'm sure), pouring through Pei's fashion magazines, highlighting - in futility - random phrases of our Prac Crit notes and pseudo-annotate them just so the Hated Bulldog wouldn't get on our backs for it...it was a crappy school and I stood out because it was a crappy school but if you ask me, I'd gladly take the excellent with the bad anytime, anyday.

On the one hand, moving to Bukit Timah next semester rocks because Orchard Road is a $3 cab fare away; on the other hand, I would be leaving my Jurong Junior Arts friends behind and as it is we already don't see much of each other.

Sometimes I do wish I'd gone with them. We'd have so much fun in Lit lectures and the like. I even sort of miss my Civics class and those times we sat around and bitched about the Bulldog during the many occasions she walked out of our class; some of us - e.g. me - took advantage of this free period to walk to the canteen and get some food. It was fun, and for the longest time, the A Levels was just one of those not-real things that you dealt with when you absolutely have nowhere else to look. And then you stare it straight in the eyes and annihilate it to the best of your ability. And yet, simultaneously, the grades you get don't say anything about who you are; it was only in Jurong Junior that I finally knew the meaning of Acceptance.

**

LAWR was fun yesteday. Apparently though, the rest of my TG had an even better time. We were divided into three different practice sessions and I was in the first session and naturally I left immediately after that. I wish I'd stayed though; Agatha told me grisly stories about how my evil classmates acting as judges grilled another one of our classmates so badly that he was completely traumatised.

Can you imagine how I'd break apart if that happened to me? My "argument" was a total piece of shit. There were two Year 2 students sitting in as judges and one of them, this scary-ass dude, assumed this tone of voice that reminded me of a real moot I watched during Matriculation Week last year. I could kind of answer his question though; what made me nervous was the way he asked it. The other student, a girl, didn't ask her question in a stress-inducing manner, but CRAP I totally couldn't answer her question. She asked me something about the circumstances under which the Children Development Co-Savings Act would apply to female employees whom the Employment Act doesn't cover. I thought and panicked, and eventually I said meekly, "I'm not sure about that."

The second I said "I'm not sure" I was half-expecting a sarcastic rebuttal along the lines of, "Are you not sure or do you not know?" Tim Dore's words will never leave my head; never say "I'm not sure" because it's dishonest, when the truth of the matter is, you simply don't bloody know. (Because "not sure" implies that you have some sort of a clue, while "don't know" is clear-cut: You haven't the slightest inkling of a faint idea.)

And I simply didn't bloody know.

But on second thought, what the heck kind of question was that anyway? It's pretty straightforward: The CDCA extends the ambit of Sections 70-something to 80-something of the Employment Act to cover women who hold an 'executive, managerial or confidential' position, period. That's all there is to it.

I think.

The dude asked me about Parliament's intention of enacting the CDCA and naturally I didn't even think of looking up the relevant parliamentary debates but when I was doing my memorial I googled the CDCA and came across some Ministry of Manpower report to the UN committee that aims to eliminate discrimination against women that specifically mentions the Act, and that was the first and only thing to pop to mind, so I blurted that out and luckily I got away with it. If he'd gone on to ask me what the report said, I'd be like, "I don't know. Stop grilling me!"

We'd be visiting the Subordinate Court/s next Saturday and I can't wait! Agatha and I are going shopping after that. Wahoo!

**

I had lunch with Siming and Agatha at Crystal Jade Holland V after Legal Theory today, and after lunch Siming finally treated us to coffee at Coffee Bean. We struck a deal last semester when we were doing our stupid and A- research binder that Agatha and I hastily compiled a few days before the deadline, that if we got an A or whatever for the binder Siming would treat us to coffee. Why Siming? Because he was bloody late for our group meetings on more than one occasions. Haha!

He's a good sport though, so it was all cool. He's also my moot partner and he actually said that I could take my time to decide which issue I wanted to do and if I changed my mind he wouldn't mind at all. He's either REALLY NICE or REALLY SMART.

Then again, it's obvious that he's both.

Anyway, lunch was good and coffee was even better. I had a damn good time, just sitting around talking and semi-gossiping and talking about the law.

Well, that last bit isn't really accurate; we were talking about the justice system here and then about the general climate of political apathy and yeah, it was good, one of those few occasions where you participate in an intellectual conversation and don't feel bludgeoned or the urge to bludgeon. We were there for about three hours and I reached home at 5.30. My original plan for today was to come home immediately after Legal Theory and do my readings for tomorrow's Criminal Law. Since there's American Idol tonight though...oh well.

I'll try to read anyway.

**

This odd thing with me and studying. I don't know. I can't even begin to explain it. It's literally like this: I woke up one day and decided to start studying. There was no prior stimulant, no sudden epiphany, just the knowledge that I want to do it.

Kind of like how it was in Jurong Junior: I woke up one day and decided to take my work seriously.

Also kind of like how it is with matters of the heart: I woke up one day and decided that I liked this person again/didn't like this person anymore/should break up with this person.

Weird, I know.

Also, how typical of me that I decide to do what I should be doing all along only after I'm past the halfway mark of the present semester. I won't be eligible for exchange programmes because apparently they base it on Year 1 results and obviously my results are atrocious and will continue to be atrocious. (I'm betting that the best I can do for Contract is a C. And I don't really care that much.)

Well, even if I were eligible by some sporadic stroke of luck and mysterious workings of that thing called A Miracle, I wouldn't have the money to go anyway.

Doesn't matter. Don't really care. I know what I want and I will - to quote Tim Gunn of Project Runway whom I love - make it work.

**

Doubt I'm going to England. The whole "should I stay or should I go" (Ramones? The Clash? Crap, I can't remember which band did this song) fiasco was something I had to do though. Because now, I finally feel like I'm making a decision for myself, that I made this decision for myself. I can't say I don't have a choice, because I do, and I even have a choice between two super-reputed universities in England.

You always have options, no matter how much it doesn't seem to be the case.

Looking back, I don't really know why I thought law school was the end of the road for me. Haha.

**

This sounds retarded but I'm slightly excited about the moots now. Like, I don't care if I'm going to get a lousy grade; I'd probably get a lousy grade anyway. But how many people in this world can say that they've had such an experience? It might be potentially orgasmic, even.

Wait - I need to do some more research for it.

Oh, fuck.

**

Dinner time. I think it sucks that American Idol is three times a week and each episode is at least an hour long. How annoying. The results show is bloody full of retarded, boring fillers anyway. A royal waste of time but I won't stop watching.

I love Taylor Hicks.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010