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this is what they call a 'record'.
written: 2.39 p.m. on Sunday, Nov. 05, 2006

I slept at 7 a.m. this morning. I'm amazed that I managed to wake up at 1, just in time for lunch. Seven-hour phone conversation. Oh my god. Longest phone call ever. I'm still in a mild state of disbelief that it actually happened; I honestly can't remember the last time I talked to someone on the phone for more than two hours that isn't Mag, let alone seven freaking hours. I can't remember the last time I stayed up all night, too. Certainly not for exams, 'cause I don't do things like that and studying puts me to sleep after thirty minutes so even if I wanted to stay up all night to study, I couldn't do it. In any case, we learn something new about ourselves every day, I guess. And it was a good conversation; much laughter was had, much amusement was shared, and prodding slightly deeper into someone's psyche and personality and being is always a good thing. So, it's all good, heavy-ass eyebags and everything.

I honestly need to get out more. Maybe it's time I lost my straight-edged badge of honour, as much as I like it. Maybe I'm being anti-establishment for the sake of being anti-establishment. I don't think about why I don't do certain things; I just don't do them. But if it's so important to me surely I must have a better reason than that? Otherwise, I'm letting the mainstream dictate my choices, and that goes against the very essence of being anti-mainstream. And your criticism of a certain thing is never really very believable or credible unless you've experienced the thing yourself, so it's also good for me to get out more so that I'd be justified in dissing everything that the masses lap up, just because it's fun to piss on people's parades. Bwahahaha. I feel evil, but that's the way it is. It's just what I do, I'm sad (kinda) to say.

Anyway, last night!

I haven't seen Mel since the week I saw her in her awesome play and damn, have I missed the fuck out of her or what. It was the usual bitching about what we always love bitching about, talking about guys, watching hilarious videos on her laptop, gushing over Christian Bale (okay, I did most of the gushing but I wanna watch American Psycho more than ever now because Mel said he was TONED! in the film, OMG!), things like that. And I honestly never knew that there are books by the Marquis de Sade available in Singapore, so imagine my shock when Mel told me that she got hers from like Kino or something (or was it Borders?).

Well, to be fair to me, I highly doubt they'd carry Justine or 120 Days of Sodomy. I even highly doubt that they have Incest, which I bought from Taipei but am in absolutely no hurry to read. But oh, how I loved the excerpt from a piece called something like, Conversation Between a Priest and a Dying Man that Mel was reading out to me! It was hilarious. Mel said, He lives through his Literature, and indeed he does.

Not that I'm some big-ass fan of his, but you gotta admit the man was colourful. The atheism also helps his appeal for me, but that's just me, of course.

Anyway, I think I look like a guy in the second picture and my eyebags are huge like nobody's business in both pictures but I'm posting them anyway 'cause Mel looks super pretty in both. And also because it's been forever since the last we took pictures together. Sigh, I miss her.

I like my current layout a lot. Definitely like it a lot better than the previous one, which I hated quite a bit. And the awesome thing is that it was done in about three hours, max. I guess that time could've been better spent on studying and the likes of it but I couldn't take looking at the old ugly layout for another day and it was up for more than a month already so it really had to go.

I want to work and live in Taipei for two, three months. But maybe Taipei isn't getting too far away from home, considering I have relatives here. But it still beats staying here, at home, being monitored by the parents. Oh, I don't know. I realised - or at least, it was pointed out to me - that I don't really make a lot sense. My mere existence is befuddling. My values and my actions are constantly at odds with each other. I'm not morally against casual sex or seeing a guy purely for the physical gratification, and yet my lifestyle is pretty conservative, almost nun-ish. I always thought it'd change when I get older but I've already got older and everything is pretty much still the same.

Except, I don't feel the urge to go out with guys anymore. I don't want to, don't need to, I don't want a boyfriend, I'm happy where I am. Things I thought would bother me when I get to them actually aren't that bad. You'd think I'm receiving the short end of the stick but I don't see things that way. It doesn't bother me, it's just the way it is, and I'm happier doing other things anyway.

But having said all that, I think my stagnant lifestyle is severely affecting my writing, so one way or another I'm still gonna try to get out more. Somehow. I don't know. We'll see.

I realise how difficult it is to sum up Veronica Mars to an inquiring mind. I was raving about it to KW and he was like, What is it about? And I went, Well...[long pause] It's about a girl who solves mysteries. It's like a film noir version of Nancy Drew.

He went, Doesn't sound very interesting leh.

Now I get why the posters on the Television Without Pity forum are always lamenting about how difficult it is to get new viewers because the premise of the show sounds rather silly. Which is really sad 'cause it's like the best show ever and those who don't watch it are really missing out on an entire life, or something, I don't know. The latest episode is still downloading and I don't think it'd finish by tonight. Sigh.

I haven't studied at all the whole weekend, save for five pages of the CLT readings on Chinese law. Damn. I think it's time I start on Company.

Before I forget, Simon! How do you know it's called Coy Law? I totally didn't know that and I was wondering what the hell 'coy law' is when you used the term. Haha. Anyway, it sucks a lot. Tell me how your first practical driving lesson goes! So exciting.

Walter Woon, here I come.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010