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if the world could sleep when it's time to hate
written: 5:49 p.m. on Sunday, Apr. 07, 2002

"...some Negroes lie, some Negroes are immoral, some Negro men are not to be trusted around women - black or white. But this is a truth that applies to the human race and to no particular race of men. There is not a person in this courtroom who has never told a lie, who has never done an immoral thing, and there is no man living who has never looked upon a woman with desire." - Atticus Finch, "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

During lunch my mom made a comment about Indian men being wife-beaters. She said Indian men bully their wives when they feel that the marriage gifts are not sufficient. Apparently she grew up watching things about Indians ill-treating their wives or whatever on TV, and to further prove her point, she used the recent case of an Indian man from India who murdered his Singaporean wife. This whole discussion, for lack of a better word, stemmed from the possibility that Gem is an Indian. She already said the same shit to me last night at the restaurant, but I chose not to listen as I was too fixed on staring at him. But god, talk about fucking bullshit. It's like saying I eat dogs because I'm Chinese, or my father prefers my brother because he's Chinese when in fact he prefers me, or my maid is a terrorist because she's a Muslim. I could not believe the blatant prejudice bullshit I was hearing.

And daddy dearest joined in with some comment about the whole Indian race being unable to change their "practice" of abusing their wives. What kind of stupid shit is that? Just because a man is Indian does not mean he's a wife-beater. Just because a person is white does not make him/her a racist. I don't understand how they could say such things. It's not even about Gem anymore, because frankly, I think he's Eurasian, but that's not the point. It's the whole biased racial stereotype that not only my parents have, and not only against the Indian race. This incident during lunch only further proves the point made by Atticus in the quote above.

And to add to the ridiculousness (?) of the whole thing, my dad expects me to marry a Chinese. Like I'd actually say, "No, I'm not going to date you, even though I'm immensely attracted to you and think you're interesting, because you're not Chinese"! Like I can automatically switch my feelings off for some guy just because he's not Chinese! What the fucking fuck! I know my dad is extremely conservative, but it's the 21st century. It's my life. If he felt it was only "appropriate" for him to marry a Chinese woman, that's his problem, not mine. I don't care what race my future husband is gonna be. It's stupid and impossible to date along communal lines. It's just like saying I'm not going to be your friend simply because you're a Christian, or because you're a Malay, or you're a white, you're a black, you're a Hindu, whatever.

I'm kind of disturbed by this. I believe human beings belong to only one race, and that's the human race, and we have no right to hate another person or discriminate against another person just because his/her skin colour differs from your own. We have no right to prejudge a person of a different race, and base that prejudgement on an unfair stereotyped conceived from wrongdoings of a minority of that particular race. And if you actually do stupid things like that, you're an even bigger retard than I'd originally believed.

Sometimes, I truly wonder if I'm adopted.

(Title from: "Sleep", written by me.)

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010