dream about the days to come when i won't have to be alone
written: 7:35 p.m. on Wednesday, Apr. 17, 2002
I wanted to touch him. He sat opposite me, and it wasn't like we were sitting close or anything, but I wanted to touch him. I wanted to touch his face, his lips, his ears, his hair...god. I don't know what's wrong with me. He wanted to know what I was thinking, and all I could think of was how I wanted to touch him. How was I supposed to say that to him?
He's very quiet though. Doesn't know what to say to me. And he has the most intense stare, and when he fixes it on me, I go crazy. I asked him to stop but he'd do it again, and I'd go, "God, you're doing it again!" And he'd apologise, and I'd say, "It's okay, I like it."
I'm not smiling as much as that night, but he's all I can think of. I can't get his face out of my mind. I keep thinking about how he looked at me and looked me straight in the eyes, and how he only smiled when he meant it (unlike me, who was grinning, giggling and laughing like an idiot).
He's driving me crazy. I need to see him again.
In other news: Maths test was okay. Question Two I did before during tuition. Despite that, I got the answer wrong. I could kill myself.
And failed Geography test by 0.5 mark.
Is it normal that I just wanted to touch him? Or is it a sign of insanity or something, because like I said, I've never done this before. I've never felt this strong urge to touch a person.
He has a scar on his arm, and when he told me the story of how he got it, I did something totally out of character. I took his hand, and ran my fingers across his scar. I don't know how he reacted as I wasn't looking at him. Didn't really dare to.
I can't believe I did that.
Wait...I can't believe this is all happening.
And I still want to touch him.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010