all i can think of are ways to die alone
written: 12:05 a.m. on Sunday, Sept. 29, 2002

Don't ask me about it. Don't ask me who it is. Don't ask me why, who, what, where, how, because I won't tell you anything. You can send crap to my guestbook that goes something like, "I'm sorry, I went through something similar too, and I dealt by this this this."

I don't know how to deal. Strangely, I'm not all that surprised. I've always known that friend is suicidal, and I suppose I just knew that it was going to happen. I was waiting for a confirmation, and yep, I got one.

Not that I wanted one, or asked for one, because I really didn't. The thing that bugs me most is how my friend didn't talk to me about it first. I thought we were close enough that whatever would've went, and it wouldn't have mattered.

I'm not mad. It's not about me. I'm going to help, although I honestly don't really want to, because I don't know how. But I'm not going to run away, because friends don't do that. They don't bail at the first sight of trouble. They stick by each other no matter what, and I'm going to do that, no matter what. You can count on that.

I just hope that the friend is okay now.

But really. No questions. Whoever you are. Don't make this more difficult than it already is.

Title from "Untitled" by silverchair.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010