yelen reveals her catty claws.
written: 6:09 p.m. on Monday, Aug. 23, 2004

It's a good thing that the match wasn't televised -- if it was I didn't know about it and I don't want to -- for if I had the misfortune of watching it, I think I would've had like a million haemorrhages by now. Fuck. I was hoping China would go all the way but it seems like they've lost more matches than they've won. And the US got into the quarter-finals by sheer luck. I mean, you could hardly say that they deserved it as they lost to Lithuania (who the hell is that?) or whatever by four and were thrased by Puerto Rico and we're talking about a star-studded team, with last season's MVP Tim Duncan and Sixers star Allen Iverson.

I mean. I don't know what I mean. I'm glad I don't have ESPN or whatever because basketball would be a huge distraction and I don't have the time for distractions right now.

Cue: Next topic.

I hate school. The only time when I would like school is when you drilled a hole in my skull and let the brains trickle out bit by bit, dug out my heart, beat it to pulp with a sledge hammer, gouged out my eyeballs, severed my tongue, forced me to give birth -- get the idea?

I. Hate. School. School is the embodiment of the phrase "pain in my fucking ass". School is the one thing that is making my life absolutely miserable. School is, in fact, a weapon of mass intellect annihilation, especially if one went to my school.

I'm so damn tired and drained and lethargic that I think I'm gonna fail the A Levels. (When I say 'fail', I really mean 'not get what I want' and not the conventional idea of getting Ds and Es which is something that I'm not really capable of, as arrogant as it may sound.) This is, of course, a tried and tested topic, one which I've fucked myself senseless repeating over and over again and I'm sounding like a goddamn broken radio and I'm bored, absolutely disinterested, so I'm just gonna leave it at that.

Suffice to say, though, that I can't wait until it's all over, and no matter what I'm feeling right now, I'm going to go all out to lick it and leave my 'just go there and wing it lah' days behind because I think I owe myself that much after spending secondary school sleep-walking through everything and looking at the world through half-opened eyes and a brain that was operating only at 60% at best and basically signing my death warrant in 2000 when I decided to fuck up my studies and needless to say Sec 2 was my worst academic year but nothing much has changed since then and I'm just plain bored of this banal tune and hence I'm writing a new symphony not of Beethoven standards but I'm sure that overtime, things will improve, simply because I want them to. And trust me, I almost always get what I want. Hence.

Right, anyway, it's bitching time again.

This is funny.

Tubby's class. He was yelling at us again, as per usual, ranting about the atrocious standards of the Lit students in my stupid school, going off about how people don't address the question, how their English sucks, how we can't write like the Hwa Chong JC students, and on this point he stopped, considered something for a bit, and said, "Well, some of you can. Yelen can."

He paused again. Then, "I can't think of anyone else."

Behind me, the girl about whom I've bitched at length over the past few days, shrieked, "Thanks a lot, [insert Tubby's name]!"

Oh, my, god. Was I about to die or was I about to die?

How shall I put this? Very simply: I'm good and you're not so just accept the goddamn fact.

Another fact: I went to school with HCJC people and I kicked their asses. If it weren't for one Loh Shi Lin who topped the cohort for English year after year, I'm pretty sure that I would have had a much better chance at topping the level in the subject. (Shi Lin, if you happen to be reading this, I hereby announce that I admit defeat to your incredible command of the language, and I say this without the tiniest trace of malice. I mean it. You are the legitimate, genuine genius.) There was a point of time in which I had an 82% average for English. And I would've had more than 80% for my Sec 4 English prelim if I hadn't fucked up my stupid comprehension for which I had a 12.5/25. Sad, I know. (I wasn't supposed to get a mere A2 for O Level English but I recognise that Cambridge is essentially stupid and hence has its preposterous idiosyncrasies and I'm going to get my A1 back November 4 so I'll forgive them for now.)

The point is, I know I'm not exactly brilliant, but I'm good, and she's not. And to claim that Tubby should have said her name when he was naming people who can write as well as HCJC students (I bet my mates and I can write better than some of them) was a huge, hilarious case of �� �� Ū ����

Please. Ҫ �� �� ��? �� �� ��!

Okay, that was Chinese. I tend to sprout off in Chinese mentally sometimes and that was a translation of what goes on in my mind to this virtual diary thingy. The first one was a Chinese idiom that is roughly translated a silly amateur showing off in front of a master, while the things that came after 'please' were basically me being a snotty bitch and going, "You can only dream of being as good as me."

So now that I have revealed my catty claws, I wouldn't be surprised if people suddenly stopped talking to me.

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I do think that some of my classmates are competent in the subject and they should get their As. But that girl is a mere pretender. She tries to think that she's smart, and if that sounded weird, it's deliberate so just try to think about it. I find it very funny, in fact, that some people are so damn delusional that they truly believe that they have the right to blast other people's English when in the first place, their command of the language sucks like hell, to put it simply. You can't be an elitist if you ain't got the goods, and that girl doesn't have the goods. I mean, what kind of stupid feminist would say that infertile women are "less womanly" than fertile women? Are you bloody saying that if a woman has breast cancer and gets a boob removed, she's less of a woman? Then aren't you purporting the long-held and unfair, bitterly misogynistic idea that women are good for nothing but reproduction and lustful fantasies?

Fuck you. I abhor feminism and its associations and I was insulted. And the funny thing is, you claim to champion the feminist "cause" (what goddamn cause in the first goddamn world?) but you choose to show it in such an inherently contradictory manner. It is, in fact, utterly preposterous and plain bloody wrong. I refuse to succumb to the patriarchal idea that women are only useful when they get fucked and give birth to a stupid screaming infant. I think I am worth a lot more, so much more, than that.

That is, by the way, not feminism. When used in modern-day context, the term connotes stupid women saying stupid things like, "You insult me by holding open a door for me." That's bullshit feminism, that's feminism peddled by ineffectual, obnoxious and often thoughtless modern-day women in the developed world in a nutshell. My stand is that I believe that as a human being, I am worth as much as any other human being in the world, regardless of gender. I mean, let's stop being juvenile lah. Let's get past the whole "I have a penis I have boobs and a vagina" issue already. It's old and I'm not interested. We're living in the fucking 21st century. It's about the individual, what the individual is capable of, the individual's contribution to the world as an individual regardless of gender. Who cares if you're male or female? If I'm the only person right for the job, I will get it, and if I'm not given it simply on the basis that I'm female, then I'm going to do something about it instead of merely sitting on my fat ass and whining about the "moronic men" and whatever else stupid women whine about.

Gender politics basically piss me off. It's crap. It's nonsense. Do what you want. Get over it.

By the way, I'm only referring to gender politics in the developed world. Whatever I've said above doesn't apply for unfortunate places like Afghanistan and various African countries, even Asian ones.

Obviously, right? Well, that disclaimer would not have been necessary if we were all smart but the fact is, everybody is stupid and hence I'm forced to say stupid things.

Anyway, I just read something rather funny in another blog but I shan't delve into it as I have to go have dinner now. In brief, though, I would like to say that it is possible to straddle the worlds of Potato-dom and Cheena-dom. In fact, I myself would very much like to embrace both. Jay Chou is my husband and I worship early Radiohead. So fucking what?

And like I said earlier, you can only be an elitist if you have the goods. You can only be an ang moh (well, pseudo-ang moh) elitist if your English is good. If every other sentence of yours contains a spelling/grammatical error, just shut the fuck up.

Whatever the guileless mass media chooses to perpetuate, I hereby announce that they are wrong. Let's celebrate our true ethnicity and stop wanting to be white. It's pseudo and stupid.

Well, Singaporeans are forever trapped between the East and the West so I'm not entirely surprised.

Oh, and Dashboard Confessional isn't exactly the most alternative band on the planet. Use another example.

If anyone's interested, I fucked up my Maths mock exam. Walked out an hour early. Haha. All hail the Mathematical Moron.

(Note the silly alliteration.)

this entry requires simplified chinese encoding (chinese star)

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010