string cages.
written: 11:54 a.m. on Monday, Jan. 17, 2005

But I digress. My point is, here's what happened to me over the past couple of days:

Saturday. Out of extreme and unbridled boredom, I made my mom drive me to West Mall where I caught Meet the Fockers by myself. I think it would've been a severe waste of money if it weren't for the impeccable casting, ie. Dustin Hoffman as Bernie and Barbra Streisand as his wife whose name I have forgotten. The chemistry between the two of them was so amazing, which surprised me as I've never liked Barbra Streisand. Dustin Hoffman was brilliant. The Fockers were very stereotypical, but I still liked the whole idea about expressing your affections for your loved ones every chance you've got, not being ashamed about it, proudly put on display for the less-enlightened world to gawk at, because it is so anti-thetical to my own family and our Chinese conservatism. It was...nice.

Sadly, the rest of the movie sucked. I mean, Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller were still Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller, but the script was so atrociously not funny that I was like, "..." every other second. Okay, gross exaggeration, but I hardly laughed. And Little Jack is such an annoying little bugger that I seriously wished that he'd get rammed over by Jack's trailer thingy. That 'asshole' thing was not funny. And um...I just realised that I've forgotten about half of the movie already. I mean, I was trying to think of other scenes at which the audience laughed which made me think that they're all retards but my mind drew a blank.

Well, how nice. That's $11 wasted; $8.50 on the ticket and an atrocious, rip-off amount of $2.50 on a bottle of Heaven and Earth green tea.

I almost hate going to the movies now, but then again, that's impossible. If only I'd stop going to movies that I know are stupid which I wouldn't like. But hey, how the heck is it my fault that I was bored out of my mind to that extent on Saturday?

Sunday. Worked at a pet shop in Suntec City. If I had to go back there, I'd slit my throat. The people there were nice enough but there was virtually no human traffic. I was bored out of my skull and I wanted to die. Sales was miserable too, and I sold two less pieces than I did last week. And I didn't even have a dog last week!

Apparently, the people at Marine Parade liked me. My boss told me that they kept asking her if I was going back, which surprised me as I thought I totally sucked at the job.

In fact, I think I totally suck at the job. I don't know what the damn fuck to say to the customers after I've rattled off about the promotion and the 95% cotton thingy and all. Sometimes I don't know what to say to the woman who's looking at the stuff, because it's tough to decide on how much to say without scaring the person off. I mean, personally, I like salegirls to leave me alone and not say a word to me (except maybe "welcome", which is a prerequisite in Taiwan but is, of course, non-existent in Singapore due to our somehow inherently shitty service) until I ask them questions, but my boss keeps telling me, "Engage them in a conversation! Tell them a story! Talk! Open up!"

I just don't know what the hell to do and yesterday was really bad. I felt like I was failing miserably at such a no-brainer job, and I hated the feeling. There's nothing worse in the world than failure and the knowledge that I can't excel at something, which is definitely irrational because I know myself. I have zero people skills, because I don't like people in the first place, and striking up a conversation with a random stranger is just not me.

I didn't want to do it again after last week; I only did so because 1) I wanted the money; and 2) I wanted the experience. Give myself another shot to perhaps make it work. But it didn't fucking work at all yesterday, and the location of the shop didn't help matters. For crying out loud, it was behind the escalator, next to the carpark entrance. Seriously, only about 10% out of all the people who walked past were dog owners.

Shit, I'm phenomenally irritated right now. It could be PMS, and it better be, considering I missed my period last month and it doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon this month. You have no idea how irritating it is to have your mom ask you questions after questions about where you're going, who you're going out with, what you're doing after this thing that you said you're doing, questions after fucking questions, they just never leave you be.

So are you still going for the job interview?
Yes.
How are you going?
Meeting Mel at the bus stop.
She's still going?
(Fuck yes, since when did I say that she wasn't?) Yes.
Where are you going after that?
Suntec.
What are you doing at Suntec?
Buy clothes.
Why are you buying clothes? Don't you already have enough clothes? Look at your closet! It's full of clothes and you don't even wear them! Don't waste so much money!
I'm not the one buying; I'm only accompanying my friend.

I think we're all quite aware that I'm supposed to turn 19 in July. As much as I don't wish to, it's an irrevocable fact that I can't stop, so it should only follow that my folks make it better for me and less tedious by trying to treat me more like I'm not eight anymore. As much as I hate myself for it, I envy friends who can go, "Hey I'm going out" to their folks and just walk out of the door without a string of questions being flung at them. As much as I know that the folks mean well, I still wish that it didn't suffocate me sometimes.

And now I have to cut this entry short because I need to eat and pick out a nice outfit or else I'd be late meeting Mel again. I'm always late nowadays; a far cry from the 14-year-old me who was either disgustingly early, or right-on-the-dot punctual.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010