long.
written: 2:05 p.m. on Saturday, Apr. 02, 2005

Okay, my dad just came home and opened the mailbox and I received a letter from NUS and wahoo, I'm shortlisted for a USP interview. How conveniently, too, that it falls on my off day next week.

University Scholars Programme, by the way. And I don't even want to go to FASS anymore. Haha. Oh well.

Well, I've never done a real interview before (job interviews don't count) so um, I'm scared. Oh no! I think I'm gonna screw this up and make a joke of myself and after I leave the room the interviewers would be like, "How in the world did that moronic bimbo we just saw possibly get the results she supposedly got?" How horrifically scary!

You know what, I bet they shortlist about ten million people which means that my idiocy and stupidity would become even more glaring in the midst of people as brilliant or more brilliant than me. Joy, fun, laughter and amusement. Fuck.

I just realised something. The interview is at 10 a.m. next Wednesday, which means that I have to get up early on my off day in a week choked with AM shifts. Great! How difficult is it for a lazy girl like me to sleep in every once in a while anyway? And yes, I don't even know what I'm complaining about - I guess I'm so used to it that it's become second nature.

On a brighter note, I'm sure the USP interview would be a nice warming up session for the Law interview, which I'm also fucking scared about. I mean...my NUS Medicine cousin told me that his friend went for the Law interview and apparently they ask you about current affairs.

Current bloody affairs, for crying out loud. I can't even remember when was the last time I read the newspaper, and Life! definitely doesn't count. I'd just die if they asked me questions about some issue which I've never even heard of, which is highly likely if we take into consideration how I have not been reading the papers. And it's precisely at times like these that I'm eternally thankful for my subscription to Time magazine, however American-slanted their POV is. It is, at the very least, well-written (and that's an understatement) and intelligent - two things which I'm not sure I could say for the Straits Times sometimes, to be honest.

Oh fuck it. Who cares. I'll write about how I'm freaking out over the Law interview when I actually receive notice that I'm shortlisted for it; if I'm shortlisted for it.

Well, anyway, moving on now. I did OT a few days back and I was so bored and tired and cranky that I started to swear like a sailor and complain and bitch after a while. Like, hell, I didn't even give a shit that there were two permanent staff sitting in the same row as me. And when I start singing random songs out loud, not caring at all if I might be out of tune and hence embarrassing myself, it's a major sign that I have reached my limits.

It was bad, and the two shop forms I did both had the same error. We usually do roadshow forms, you see, and I'd just spent the whole day doing about fifty roadshow forms with the same swap date. So when I had to switch to shop forms, I forgot to check the swap date and ended up charging the two customers two days less for their digital set-top box. Oops. The first time I made that mistake, I told Chicken about it and he was like, "Bu yao jing lah. Xia ci xiao xing yi dian." (It's okay, be more careful next time.) Apparently this senior temp staff was the one who said that, so I was like, oh okay, cool then.

But little did I know that I would go on to make the same damn mistake immediately after that, when I was provisioning my next shop form; and once again, I only realised that I put the wrong date when I'd closed the damn work order. I probably should've said something about it but it was close to ten anyway and hence time to go home so I was like, aiyah, forget it lah.

If StarHub cable TV suddenly starts to lose a lot of money...you know why. Bwahahahaha.

But seriously, it wasn't funny anymore yesterday. I'd provisioned about three contract forms the day before without knowing that they were contract forms - something which I am not supposed to do because it's a major, horrendous error. It's easy to blame the people responsible for screening the forms and sorting them for not doing their job properly, but the truth is, I was supposed to check for contracts before I do the provisioning but I didn't. In fact, I haven't been doing that for quite some time now, so I might have provisioned many other contract forms in the past which I didn't know about. I don't really know the details but whatever it is, dropping contracts is supposedly very serious and troublesome, but that was precisely what I did.

It certainly was not the first time. I mentioned before in another entry that I did the same thing, and it must've looked really bad for me when I told my in-charge that I'd made the same fucking mistake again. And it was hard, so excruciatingly embarrassing, on the pride when my team-mate told me that my in-charge told her to tell me to bring my issued forms downstairs as I was supposed to do screening instead.

God, it was humiliating, I swear. I was even convinced that I was going to get fired! There's nothing really wrong with screening; all you gotta do is to open up the customer's account and check for contracts, blah blah blah. It's pretty basic and easy, and most importantly, it doesn't make you want to fall asleep like provisioning does; you don't have to venture anywhere beyond the first page, and hence, you don't have to wait ten trillion years for the system to load before you could be done with a form.

And it's precisely because the job is such an easy job that I felt so humiliated as I trudged back upstairs with the huge stack of forms in my arms. It didn't matter that the in-charge claimed that she didn't purposely single me out for the screening job because of the errors that I made, because it was how it felt like to me all the same, and I'm sure everyone knows that I refuse to see any other points of view except my own.

But fuck, I don't believe that I can't do the task properly. It may be boring and mundane, but it's still a bloody no-brainer, for crying out loud. Needless to say, I was extremely careful and I tried very hard not to zone out in the middle of a work order when I was done with the screening and was provisioning the cumbersome shop forms. Hell, I even sorted out the stupid forms according to their shop location, just so that I wouldn't return the stupid analogue box to Plaza Singapura when it's already gone back to like Tampines or something.

A severe pain in the ass. But this pain in the ass got me like $593.75 after CPF deduction for my first 11 days there, so there you go: a silver lining in the annoying storm cloud that never really rains. (And since I love the rain, that is doubly bad.)

MX is currently holidaying in Thailand so work has been slightly more mundane for the past few days. I get along better with her than the other girls, which is quite a pleasant surprise, as we couldn't be any more different. I mean, she's a 5566 fanatic, for fuck's sake, and I happen to think that they're the crappiest thing to ever walk the face of the earth. Still, the fact that we were able to laugh hysterically whenever we walked past the Jielun Lookalike together should say something about the mo qi that we share.

(I don't know what 'mo qi' is in English...affinity, perhaps. Oh well.)

Speaking of the Jielun Lookalike, I've developed a tiny, miniscule thing for him over the past few days. But the funny thing is, I saw quite a lot of him yesterday and I've noticed that he's not good-looking at all. Like, at all. Hell, some people think he looks like Wu Bai, for fuck's sake, and Wu Bai is totally fugly (by the way, Pei came up with 'fugly' way before Mean Girls came to Singapore).

For whatever it's worth though, I don't think that the Jielun Lookalike looks like Wu Bai in any way, shape or form; he looks more like Jielun, albeit an uglier version, haha. But he's cute nonetheless, if that even makes any sense and I'm sure it doesn't.

How stupid I'm being, but fuck it; it makes work less boring and tedious, and I definitely welcome anything that adds colour to my life, however slight, for it's certainly better than nothing. I'm convinced, though, that my life is shit. I mean, yesterday when I was going downstairs armed with my issued roadshow forms which I was supposed to return the lift doors opened and guess who just happened to materialise in front of me, mid-saunter. The Jielun Lookalike looked at me with this weird look on his face and since I was in an extremely foul mood, I merely glanced at him and briskly walked away.

Talk about horrendous timing! I could've...well, I don't know what either, to be honest. Despite my bitchy persona, I'm actually very shy...okay, not really, but I do have my awkward moments and it seems like they're constantly haunting me whenever the Jielun Lookalike and I literally cross paths, which already isn't very often to begin with. It'll be nice to talk to him but I just don't know what to say, and I don't wanna do it in the office where everyone can see and jeer but when I do run into him outside of the damn office, I just have to be in a bad mood.

My life is shit, isn't it?

Well, it's not; the above was typed merely for the dramatic effect, which was sadly and badly executed. Whatever. Anyway, I know his full name (I didn't ask) but I'm just gonna keep calling him the Jielun Lookalike here because...because. Why not?

An interesting observation that was already made earlier: Ever since that day in the office when MX and I were talking about his dress sense, he hasn't been wearing any flowery shirts to work. It's been a few days of plain T-shirts and polo shirts. I wonder why.

Bwahahahaha.

I need to get a life.

I was supposed to fix my laptop today but I did a virus scan early this morning and because of that Norton has stopped popping up that message about the damn download Trojan and so I can't click on the link that brings me to the solution page and so I guess I gotta postpone the fixing.

I shouldn't have done the damn scan.

I finally bought new headphones/earphones for my discman. I found the remote control but the earphones were missing. Wahoo! Now I can listen to music during work and not fall asleep.

Yeah. This entry has taken about an hour and ten minutes. I'm brilliant, end sarcasm.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010