irritated, still.
written: 11:08 p.m. on Sunday, Nov. 25, 2007

Well, I completely take that back now. I tried reading the muggers. I understood absolutely nothing. It's too brief and therefore nothing makes sense and so I'm back to reading the bloody cases and making my own bloody notes.

UGH. Fuck. I am SO. FUCKING. ANNOYED.

I've been feeling sluggish and lethargic the whole day, falling asleep in front of my laptop while trying - usually in vain - to concentrate on the cases, I woke up at 2.30 p.m. 'cause I was up until 3-something a.m. looking for wallpapers of my latest husband, David Anders <3, and after that I decided to read a book all the way until 5 a.m. and obviously I did zero work, I'm emotional and stressed and irritated and frustrated and everyone should just leave me alone until this madness is over. I can't deal with anything else but my inability to study, to focus, and to not write these stupid entries that are really a waste of my freaking time.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuccckkk.

At this rate my exam quota per semester is going to become zero. Which means that I wouldn't have any modules to take at all. What a complete nightmare.

And in the midst of everything I find myself being utterly unable to switch off the thoughts and the movie reel that's somehow playing selected memories on repeat. And the movie reel is evil and therefore it has chosen to replay every single horrible memory that I actually still remember, precisely because it is horrible beyond words, so I'm actually a lot more emotional than a person would be if she's merely faced with exam stress. And so I can't handle anything else but myself, because I can't even handle myself, and I don't want to talk about it because there is nothing - new - to talk about.

Personal Property Law. Sale of Goods. The rules under section 18. I'm on Rule 4.

I need to date. I am so bored. I need to marry David Anders right now. And my parents were watching Lucky Number Slevin and I sat down for the last fifteen minutes and I finally understand why people think that Josh Hartnett is hot.

But my heart belongs to David. When's the next Heroes coming out? I saw this promo for Episode 11 of David/Adam holding a samurai sword wearing this hot suit and looking totally hot. I am SO in love. I need Alias DVDs. I wish they hadn't made Sark all moony over Lauren though because Sark is so not that kind of guy. He's too suave, cold, and arrogant to go all moony over some random woman whom Lauren totally was.

Wang Wang Pawnshop is quite funny. Bunch of people being conned by some woman posing as a member of the Brunei royal family. That, in itself, is hilarious.

And how can two parties sign a contract that contains the term 'consignment' when they don't understand it to mean the same thing? It's so retarded. Can people please be smarter? They're giving money away to lawyers for absolutely nothing. Which should be good news to me, except commercial stuff bore me to death so I'm most likely not going to do any form of commercial litigation whatsoever.

In fact, I'm not even sure anymore if I want to remain in Singapore and do law. Because I genuinely have no interest in remaining here and I want to leave, see what's out there for me, because there's nothing here. But simultaneously I don't know for sure what I'm going to do yet. I have some sort of a vague idea, but...I don't know.

Anyway, going shopping on Friday no matter what, no matter how exhausted I am. Will buy a lot of clothes and make myself very happy. Yes, I will. And that shopping expedition will be my first time exercising in weeks. Killing two birds with one stone - how totally awesome.

Before anyone laughs at my contention that shopping is exercise, try shopping with me next time. I can walk - and I walk damn fast - continuously for at least four hours without needing to take a break. But then again, don't shop with me. I only do that when I'm alone. And I prefer shopping alone.

I feel very anti-social.

It's time for Lost!

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010