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I'M MISERABLE.
written: 3:28 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 28, 2008

After my brother ended his A Levels and spent his post-exams freedom at home watching the shows I downloaded, I laughed mercilessly at his amazing lack of a life. He was so bored, in fact, that he took to watching Gossip Girl - and he finished all the episodes in like 3 days (I later learned that he fast-forwarded through Nate's scenes, as well as Jenny's. HAHAHA). Needless to say I laughed endlessly at him whenever I went into his room and found him watching Gossip Girl, because...that was just damn sad.

Well, karma is a bitch and it's enjoying its payback time right about now. I have finished my exams and I'm probably going to be spending the next five days at home because I have been rendered incapacitated by the minor incision I had on the inside of my upper right eyelid.

Okay, 'incapacitated' is probably an exaggeration. But it certainly feels that way. I went to have the lump in my right eye checked yesterday afternoon and the doctor said it was some blocked glands causing some pus to accumulate and form that tiny lump on my eyelid. He gave me two options: apply medication, or let him make a small cut on the inside of the eyelid to drain out the pus.

At first I was all, OMG I'M NOT GETTING ANY POINTY OBJECTS NEAR MY EYE.

Then he asked if I wore contacts. I practically told him that I swore by contacts and my life would end without it, to which he said that I wouldn't be able to wear contacts for as long as this problem stayed with me. If I chose the first option, it'd take about two weeks and the problem might get worse; but if I chose the second, it'd take about a week and it had a higher chance of curing it.

And that, my friends, clinched the decision for me. Vanity over pain. Physical pain over mental torture. I'd much rather suffer through five minutes of discomfort and pain than two weeks of not wearing contacts and not having a social life, and risk it dragging out beyond two weeks. Because, like, I am not going to Taiwan without my contacts, thank you very much.

So I found myself lying on the operation table or whatever it's called and having some eye-drop squeezed into my right eye to numb it for the anaesthesia injection. The injection still hurt like mad bitch anyway. I don't know what I did this year to deserve needing to go through two anaesthetic injections - one at the beginning of the year to remove the blood clot on my gum, and the second yesterday - in one year, because yesterday I really wanted to swear out loud. I really did. Injections are never pleasant, obviously, and I'm very afraid of needles (so much so that I copped out of a hepatitis B screening in secondary school because I was too afraid to go through with the blood test. But apparently I was vaccinated as a kid in Taiwan anyway); and yesterday, having those two injections to my right eye, I almost died. It pinched and didn't let go, and just as you thought it was over, the second one quickly filled in the void and assault you again.

Bleurgh. Just plain awful. The doctor used this clamp to lift up the bottom of my eyelid which hurt like fuck, and when he started the incision I could feel him making the cuts on my eyelid. Three strokes of the needle (or whatever it was) to the eyelid that probably took less than a minute, but it felt like forever. It wasn't excruciating, but I could feel it, and it stung a bit despite the anaesthesia, and it got so bad that I said, "Would you mind if I started swearing?" but decided it wasn't nice and started saying "oh my god oh my god oh my god" instead.

I had an eye patch on afterwards and it wasn't fun trying to find your coordination with the help of one myopic eye. The doc told me to keep the patch on for four hours. I got home and couldn't do anything but lie on my parents' bed and sleep which burned 90 minutes, then I had dinner with one eye which wasn't exactly the most wonderful thing in the world, and I proceeded to sit around and laugh at my brother until I could FINALLY remove the damn eye-patch (which had begun to feel wet by that time).

I saw blood stains on the eye-patch. I was scared.

So why am I miserable? Because I'm dying to go out, but I can't. I'm paranoid about getting the bacteria of the general public into my eye and worsening it which would mean I would've gone through the torture on the operating table for naught (which is absolutely unacceptable); and just as importantly, I refuse to go out in public without my contact lenses. Even if it means staying at home and not seeing my friends.

I can't wait for 2008 to be over. It suddenly feels like this year has been plagued with all these ridiculous health issues that shouldn't happen anyway. I'm not going to count the gum because that was purely me being vain and it healed pretty fast, so first it was Bell's which robbed me of a good portion of my social life early this year, then it was recovering from Bell's which was ridiculous, and now it's the eye. Why the eye? Why? I'd rather have it elsewhere, like the hand or the leg or whatever. The face, then the eye, as if I needed a lesson to be learned about vanity and not placing too much stock on my physical appearance.

Well, Epic Fail, life. I have learned nothing and I don't give a shit. So there.

Oh well. In other news, Heroes has become some really unclever parody of itself. It's so boring. And the stupid eclipse episode - did they have to take it so literally? I couldn't see a thing the whole episode because it was so ridiculously dark.

I HATE HEROES. I hate the fact that this disaster of a show hasn't been cancelled. I hate how Kristen Bell is getting such terrible material to work with because Elle is so inconsistent that she's not even a real character anymore. It's just sad.

I want my Veronica Mars back.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010