wanted: the boyfriend requirements list
written: 10:43 p.m. on Monday, Dec. 15, 2003

Height: At least 170 cm, preferably over 175 cm.

Academics: Must be on par with me. And I'm referring to his true ability and not his grades. I don't go for guys who're, to put it bluntly, dumber, or guys who're smarter.

Linguistics: Fluent in English and/or Mandarin. If he's Singaporean, he has to be able to speak at least one complex English sentence without using Singlish. Otherwise, I'd settle for either a strong command of the English language or a strong command of Chinese. Even better, a strong command of both.

Interests: Obviously, literature. Any sort of literature. I'd go for something which I'm not familiar with at all too, just to tickle my curious bone. And an interest in film is a must too. I mean, I do need someone to watch all those obscure and strange movies with me, you know?

Appearance: Charismatic (e.g. Jay Chou). That's all.

Personality: Rebellious, cynical, misanthropic, iconoclastic. In a nutshell: the male version of me.

Sexual experiences: Don't really care, but I like to be shown the way. Insert wink here. And no, I don't want to be his fucking first kiss.

Arts or Science?: Obviously Arts. More specifically, an Arts student who takes Literature; otherwise, he wouldn't understand my passion for the subject/whatever you want to call it. And unless he's won the Angus Ross (sp), I won't date a Science stream student.

Taste in music: Alternative, e.g. Radiohead and Silverchair. Would be nice if he knows obscure bands that I've never heard of. Also must be at least tolerant of Jay Chou.

Taste in movies: No lousy slapstick, rehashed blockbusters and silly chick flicks. Must like Asian cinema. Must like dramas, indie films, things like that. I'd puke and die if his favourite movie is something along the lines of "The Wedding Singer", "The Waterboy" or "Ten Things I Hate About You". I'd puke and die, too, if he thinks that "The Matrix" is a trilogy. It's not. It ended with the first bleeding movie, thank you very much.

Taste in literature: Not too fussy here, for one can never go wrong with literature. But if he thinks that John Grisham is the best writer ever, he needs a bullet through his head.

Etc: Must be able to tolerate my mood swings; must be able to not expect me to talk; must know who James Dean is; must know that I don't like it when people make fun of my heroes; must not be lame; must be mature and intellectual; must not spew "romantic" nonsense to me; must not like sentimental love songs; must be able to tell when I don't feel like being made fun of; must be able to understand at least something about me; must know that, most of the time, I hate being laughed at; must be at least good in English, and if he doesn't speak English, Chinese; must be able to understand the crappy poetry that I write him; and last but most importantly, must be able to fuck off and leave me alone when I break up with him.

Bonuses

1. Can play basketball.

2. Can play basketball well.

3. Can compose music.

4. Can speak more than two languages.

5. Tattoos, but not excessive a la Ozzy Osbourne.

6. Earrings.

7. Emotional scars. Don't ask.

8. A sexy back.

9. Older than me by at least five years.

10. Younger than me by no more than two years.

11. Will add more if/when I think of any.

**

I do have reasons for some items on this stupid list, and if you'd care to compare it with a similar list that I drawn up more than a year ago, you'd see how much I've changed. Or maybe it's just me.

I've had two relationships so far. With all due respect to my unfortunate exes (sp), one was too short, the other not smart enough. Sounds callous, I know, particularly the latter, but my mom was right. She seems to be always right. She told me before that I'd tire of someone who isn't as smart as me, and it's true. Hey, I've been through it twice. Neither of 'em exes understood my sorry excuses for poetry. And, yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm typing about, so I'll post this now.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010