new // old // about // extras // layout // notes // email // diaryland

perfect day, my fucking ass
written: 6:05 p.m. on Tuesday, Apr. 23, 2002

This stupid song from "Legally Blonde" that keeps going, "This perrrrfect daaaaaay..." is stuck in my head and I don't know how to get it out, and it's really irritating because I'm not in a good mood right now and I'm just really tired from all that walking I did downtown and everything, and my head hurts, and I have a freaking test again tomorrow and I haven't studied anything, and I don't want to do anything right now except sleep. But I can't do that now can I, I have to study! Again!

The phone conversation (if you could call it that) with Gen was weird. He was supposed to meet me downtown. Apparently he couldn't make it, and he sent a message or whatever to Yunnie's phone because I don't have mine (or my mom's, whatever), but I didn't get the thing so I was walking all over and was just extremely pissed off. So he apologised and everything. Great. The thing is, we have nothing to talk about. It probably doesn't help that I'm not in a good mood, but still. He didn't ask me how my day was. He didn't ask me about the freaking Physics test that I mentioned yesterday when we weren't making out. I was pissed off. He was indifferent.

What a great pair.

I'm pretty sure he's not the one for me. He does not fulfil any like, what the fuck is the word, requirements or whatever against my "ideal boy" list. He doesn't get sarcasm. He doesn't stimulate me intellectually. He doesn't know "Rebel Without A Cause". How can anyone NOT know "Rebel Without A Cause"?

All right. That is not a big deal. But doubts are starting to creep in, and I'm thinking too much again, which is just wonderful, considering I let him touch my body only yesterday. Like, what the fuck? My brains are retarded. They just don't THINK right. They think at all the wrong times. And when they actually feel like working, they turn my life into a living hell because I'm not sure about anything again.

He is supposed to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Instead, he has just become one of those things in my life that I'm obsessed with and can't make better, like, oh I don't know, school, no matter how much I try, no matter how badly I want it to work.

Despite all that, I still want to make out with him.

Anyway. Physics test was crap. I answered every question with bullshit. I also had to run today. The fitness test? 2.4 km? I passed. Barely. But still passed. I ran the first 5 rounds (2 km) without stopping. Pretty damn good, even if I do say so myself.

I don't know what to type anymore.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010