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puddles of watery rainbow
written: 11:03 p.m. on Friday, Jul. 25, 2003

I am tired, almost to the extent of being world-weary. I stayed up till one a.m. doing my Literature presentation on powerpoint... my teacher liked my Catcher in the Rye essay and shortlisted me for this Literature symposium that we're going to have sometime soon.

Unfortunately, I screwed up my presentation immensely today. I didn't even finish doing the powerpoint. And I lost my diskette. And I forgot to save it in C drive. Which means if she chooses me, I'd need to do it all over again.

I'm quite ambivalent about whether or not I want to be chosen. Being chosen means two things:

1. Forcing myself to present my shit in front of a huge audience and embarrassing myself when my brains cop out on me mid-sentence and leaves my mouth with, "Uh... yeah."

2. Bonus marks. I got a 66% for my project because I fucked up my overviews; didn't know what was actually required. And a 66% is only a C. I want an A. This thing is 50% of my entire CA grade for Lit and I have already failed a test. So if I get 9 more marks I'd get an A. If I'm chosen I'd get more than 9 bonus marks.

I got an A for the essay, by the way. 49/60. Still not good enough... I'd be over the moon to get over 55.

Anyway, I haven't done my History essay. Teacher said she's going to send those who miss the dateline to detention. I find that extraordinarily intriguing because I've never served detention before and I'd love to try, but unfortunately, I have a bloody Othello test on Monday so I guess I wouldn't be experiencing detention anytime soon.

Oh, who really cares. The important thing is, something rather major happened last night involving The New Kid and myself.

We're going out tomorrow.

I spent the whole of yesterday feeling so down and hurt and depressed and terrible for nothing. He could've just told me that he has feelings for me when I told him everything after GP class. (Kinda left out the bit about me being jealous though.)

Sometimes I think he's so cute. Other times I just want to strangle him.

And I love it when he puts on that pissed off, tough guy mug. It's like... haha. I don't know.

I feel a lot better, of course. I kind of felt that he treated me differently in school though. He was more reserved than usual and didn't really tease me that much.

I like walking with him. I like the height difference. And he can palm a basketball. His hands are so much bigger than mine.

Still, I am me. Ever the bitter, jaded cynic.

And so I'm just waiting for something to go wrong.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010