it's red, it's sticky and it stinks
written: 8:53 p.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 06, 2003
There are six in total. For the entire year thus far I've only done two.
What the hell am I still doing here? Does this mean I'm going to be sleeping at 12 a.m. today?
Civics tutor told me this morning that she can see me going far in life.
And I agree with her, whole-heartedly. That is, I think I do.
Right now, I just want to run away and never come back.
It's too easy to take the cowardly way out. I could prolong handing in my History assignments by skipping school tomorrow. I could... but I'm not going to.
I hate having my period. It's a curse and the reason I hate being female sometimes. It's inhibiting and restricting, and it feels like a cage that locks me in from the outside and keeps me from doing the things that I want to do. I can't wear a white skirt just in case I stain. I can't swim because it's too troublesome to. I can't even play basketball because I hate sweating into a dirtied sanitary pad.
It's so fucking irritating. And it doesn't help that the vagina feels like it's on fire the entire day.
And if you try to tell me that I should be proud, happy, honoured, amazed, whatever, because it symbolises womanhood, all I can say is, take your nonsense and shove it up your arse. Menstruation is the catastrophe of a female's life and I don't understand the ecstasy that Judy Blume's characters felt in "Are you there god it's me magaret" when they got their periods.
And it makes me cranky too. As if I'm not cranky enough without the blood. As if I need to be any crankier.
But does menstruation care? Of course not. All it wants to do is to flow and make my life absolutely miserable.
And if I don't do my History, I will cry when I get my progress report so yes. I will shut up now.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010