ooooh angst baby
written: 4:44 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 20, 2003

There's nothing in my life except school and getting good grades. Nothing has changed since last year's graduation till now, except maybe the degree of my cynicism.

I don't know. I can't really dissect this enough or adequately. I don't even feel like writing. I don't know why I bother.

I just need something great, something that would blow my mind.

And I've also been thinking about losing my virginity a lot the past few days, which is fucking stupid, considering I don't even have a boyfriend as of right now, or anyone I'm interested in, for that matter, that aren't famous or way out of my reach.

I don't know. It appears that I've felt more angst this year than I have ever felt over the past few years. Things are getting more difficult. I'm nearing 18, then I'm nearing 19, and before I could even react, I'd be nearing 21. And I don't even feel like I've seen or experienced anything yet.

So I guess we have unearthed a cold, hard fact, pulled off the white cloth that shields the ugliest painting in a prestigious museum from the public to reveal its true nature: I am a mundane moron leading a mundane life writing mundane words that I mundanely hope that can alleviate me from my mundane existence and stop me from being mundane.

In other words, I suck.

You know, I wasn't even gonna write about the above. But it's all true anyway. What the hell.

So today sucked. Wanted to watch a movie but there was nothing to watch, and today was bleeding opening day. What the hell. Also wanted to cut Maths tutorial but it turned out to be horrifically unsuccessful: my tutor called me, demanding to know where the class was as nobody turned up, and to cut a long story that involves me getting very pissed and my teacher getting even more pissed, there's a make-up at 8.30 tomorrow and I can't cop out 'cause she told me personally.

Bleah. What a life. I was hoping I could sleep till late to waste half the day 'cause I'm happy to live this way.

Well, just quoted Silverchair from their "Freak Show" days. How interesting. I haven't listened or touched that album in ages but yeah, it's from "The Closing". Goes like, "Welcome to the closing, not for love what for? It's easy to be taken, but to say..."

Something like that, anyway.

"I'm all alone while you're having fun. You have faith but I feel none. Sleep till late to waste half the day, but I'm happy to live this way."

Oh Daniel. Tell me about it.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010