more pressure. someone shoot me already.
written: 3:11 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 27, 2003

To cut a long story short as I don't feel like explaining anything, I just got bombarded with a whole fuck-shitload of work. Assignments. Not pertaining to anything academic.

Well, indirectly my new assignments are school-related, but they've got nothing to do with my four core subjects whatsoever.

I'm supposed to interview people, write articles, do stupid things that completely hamper whatever creative process I'm trying to re-establish again, and although my "committee" has two other people in it besides yours truly, I feel like I'm left to handle all of it because one's is getting killed in Israel as we speak and another might as well be completely AWOL. Absent without leave.

He's out of the damn country while she's unreliable. I can't stand him while she's my friend. He's the bloody Oversized Harlot while she's Mel.

And Mel has never been into such things. Work turns her off as quickly as six-pecs turn me off.

And the Oversized Harlot? I fucking can't stand that arsehole but he'll do whatever I tell him to, but he's IN ISRAEL RIGHT NOW.

What the hell am I going to do? I feel so damn pressurised again. And I thought I was supposed to be enjoying my holidays.

Yeah, right.

Fucking hell. I hate JC life. I was never so stressed up all the time in secondary school, although it sucked as well.

Why the hell did I sign up for this damn job? I mean, me, a leader?! Get the hell out of here! I am so entirely NOT forceful and I can't get people to do things. Why do I have this bad feeling that I'm gonna end up doing everything by myself?

This sucks. It truly does. I thought I could just sit back, relax, wait for the articles to come in and edit, 'cause editing is such an arse-easy job (except when the writing is total crap 'cause you won't feel too good about completely changing the article) but look what's happening to me now.

Dammit.

I don't feel like doing anything right now. I want to play basketball but I'm too lazy to drag my arse out of the house and walk over to the court. It's too far away.

Well, it's not really, but right now it feels like it is.

Quite a nice breeze out though. No sun. Doesn't look like it's gonna rain.

Maybe I will go. I just love hurling the ball aimlessly against the board. It's fun.

Blah. What the hell. I'm getting so pointless that I make myself sick.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010