first day of school ramblings and other gibberish
written: 6:17 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 02, 2004
Thankfully though, due to my being an OGL, I get to skip classes for a week, which automatically translates to putting off the apprehension I talked about above for another week. And yes, I am a little worried about all the work that I'd have to catch up with, but what the hell, since I get to slack for a week more, why not make the most of it?
It was kind of strange today. It's my first time doing something like this, this OGL business, and I wasn't all accustomed to it and I didn't know what to do half the time. I'm more of a follower than a leader, more of an independent than a follower, but in the face of things such as orientation in which I have to choice but to either lead or follow, I find myself fading into the background and letting others seize the rein.
I don't know if I should continue doing that; after all, this OGL shit is meant to hone whatever little leadership potential which I may possess. But it's too energy-consuming and I'm not sure if I want to step out of my comfort zone. But we shall see. It's too early to say anything conclusive at this point of time.
Before I go on, I'd like to say first that I was thinking about Joshua a little today. Blahhh he's so damn handsome! Why didn't I ask for his number! Why! Stupid me! Of all the things I decide NOT to do just to salvage my stupid pride! I mean, so what if he turns me down, right? It's not like I'd ever see him again, and now that I didn't ask for a way to stay in touch, I'd NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!
I was going to say that it was a great chance to get to know a guy in his twenties until I remembered that my first boyfriend was in his twenties. Hmm. How interesting.
Yes, anyway, let's talk about orientation. I got a tag to hang around my neck and a whistle. Felt damn cool.
No, actually, I didn't. It started to annoy me after a while, and after I changed into my T-shirt which doesn't have a collar the string started to grate on my nerves, the way it was constantly rubbing uncomfortably against my neck. And the whistle was fucking heavy. But it was fun blowing it anyway.
I was very very very very very very VERY surprised to see one St. Nicks girl in my family and in the entire school. She isn't in my OG (orientation group, now remember that) but she's still part of FAMILY ONE which comprises of OGs one to five. So I see that history has repeated itself. Last year I was the only St. Nicks girl to step into JJC's compound too. I hope she doesn't stay on though; JJ is no place for the elite. Take it from me.
Am I sounding a little arrogant here? Yes, okay, a lot arrogant, so excuse the elite school pride for a while, will ya? I may seem hypocritical to the world at large, bitching about my alma mater one minute and taking pride in it the very next, but it's just the way it is. I don't like the school but I'm proud of its reputation and the fact that I spent ten years in there, and the fact that I came from there. It's one of the few things that's managed to get me through Year One in JJC... knowing, however absurdly, that the education I got from St. Nicks is going to help me through this shit.
That is, partially. Most of it will come from myself, of course. But I digress.
I don't know who that unfortunate SN girl is though. Don't remember her face. Nevermind, will talk to her sometime during orientation, perhaps during the BLASTED camp from Tuesday to Thursday. I hate camps. But I digress again.
(Note to self: Fuck the elite school thing lah. You suck now. Get over it. Ace your fucking 'A' Levels and you would've made it up to yourself. Okay? Now get on with the stupid entry.)
So we did a bunch of cheers and stuff like that. Tried to instill some life into the freshies but predictably and understandably, they weren't really that enthusiastic, taking into consideration that it was their first day in a new school. I remember my first day in JJC, seeing the OGLs act like retards and thinking what retards they were, and perhaps the freshies thought that way but I can't be bothered. I think I'm supposed to inspire the year ones or whatever nonsense but I don't believe in any of that shit; what I think is, have fun before school REALLY starts, slack your first three months away and then kiss JJC goodbye.
No wait, that's a little mean. Scratch the last three words. Have fun, make orientation camp less of a drag, slack the first three months away, and then do what you want to. Yeah. Whatever.
So the tone of this entry has changed a lot but too bad.
Today was filled up by a lot of administrative things and talks (monologue by the P, for example) so I didn't get to know the people in my group at all, except that some guy wants to go to poly. Yeah, that's about it. They seem okay though. A lot of guys this year; more than girls. I think. I couldn't really count. I can't count anyway.
Um. That's about it for today. So glad I didn't have lessons; would've died if I still had to attend lessons after the orientation and stuff. I was tired from cheering. It saps a lot of energy out of you if you're the one attempting to lead. And my stupid contact lens is killing my right eye again; it hurt a lot today. Fucking stupid thing. I think I need to change it or something. I don't know, keep thinking that it's going to tear as it feels so flimsy and fragile, but if it tears again, my mom is going to murder me, 'cause then it would be the third time already and mine are permanent lenses. Argh. Should've just got disposable ones.
Joshua Joshua Joshua Joshua... shuai ge...
Man, I'm going crazy. ('Shuai ge' is Chinese for 'handsome dude', in a rough and bad translation.) Truth be told, I'm quite tired of JC guys. None of them seem to tickle my fancy nowadays. I want someone 7 or 8 years older than me, just for the heck of it. I mean, why not, right?
Okay, I digress again. This entry seems to be heading nowhere. I started out to write something less informal about my first day of school but ended up side-tracking to some elite school shit, a handsome guy by the name of Joshua whom I'd never see again, and who knows what other shit I typed so far; I can't remember. My memory is bad. I need to pee.
Oh yeah. Got this email from some random guy who wants to meet me after reading my Yahoo! profile. What the hell. Haven't looked at that thing in ages. I don't know what to think. Oh well.
I finished my History essay yesterday. Shoddily-written, but not bad to the extent of me refusing to put my name on it.
And I'm going to enter the Commonwealth Essay Competition thing this year. It's my last chance of entering it after only one attempted. Wanted to do it last year, but JJC doesn't seem to have even heard of the thing. I need to enter it through a school though, so my stupid school better not screw things up for me.
That is, provided I get through whatever slump that I've been stuck in for ages that's perpetuating my lack of inspiration and drive and creativity to write something good and complete.
One last thing: I like handsome guys. Bwahahahahahahaha.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010