white feather
written: 6:24 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 13, 2004

Right. So today was another stupidly, mind-numbingly boring day spent in JJC, save for the last portion of the day when something interesting happened, although I reaped only the external benefits and not the private benefits. (If you didn't study Economics, too damn bad lah.)

Actually, I can't actually call it 'benefit' as I doubt very much that whatever externality was generated was positive in any way, shape or form, if we're taking the word 'positive' in its non-economical meaning, which basically translates to its logical, sensible and correct meaning.

Okay, I shall get off my pretentious Economics analogy now. Here's what happened.

I was sitting in GP class, minding my own business and yakking away with Princess at the back of the class and basically ignoring what my ineffective hag of a GP tutor was saying, when I glanced out of the window, as a habit, and guess who did I see walking past my classroom? None other than Feather.

It was twenty minutes to the end of GP class at that time and of course the first thing that came to mind was, "Shit, he let his class off twenty minutes earlier again!"

So I turned to Princess, and said, "[insert class] got off twenty minutes early for GP again! It's so unfair! Why can't we get off early for GP too? It's so irritating sitting through this fuckhead's lesson!"

Princess: "Yeah man! It's so unfair!"

Yada yada yada. Then, something struck me. Feather was the first one out of the classroom. He's usually one of the last people to leave, as he's... well, I don't really know what he stays behind for, probably to answer some moron's question on how to write an introductory paragraph or how to rebutt arguments or how to use the word 'proliferation' or something stupid and JJC along those lines. And I also noted that he had this damn pek chek look on his face, like he was pissed off or something.

(But it was so subtle that you could hardly notice if you weren't crazily obsessive like me.)

So it occurred to me that he might have walked out on his class, for some reason or other, though I won't be surprised if his ungrateful and utterly unappreciative class did something to piss him off as teachers are usually pissed with that class, and after GP ended (FINALLY!), I met Mel on my way to LT5 and I asked her about it.

Sure enough, poor Feather walked out on his class, and he was really pissed off. Like, fucking angry and stuff. Mel was the first to run out and apologise for her class's tardy behaviour and he was like, "You guys can just stuff it", in a polite manner or something.

And when I heard it I was so sad.

Okay, I'll phrase it in a less bimbotic manner. I felt damn bad for him. Really. I should probably feel bad for being late for GP all the time and for making noise in GP class but hello, my GP tutor isn't half the man that Feather is... okay, so she's a woman, but still, she is nowhere NEAR the kind of awesomeness that Feather has. And so while Mel was relating to me what happened in class, I was going, "Oh nooooo! Poor thing! How could you guys do this to him? Poor thing!"

After that banter I went into LT5 to do my class's audition for DramaFest. We didn't get in in the end, although another play of ours did, which means I'm fucking screwed as DramaFest is next Friday evening, and the next day is the bloody NUS History Seminar, for which I am the presenter and I haven't even looked at the PowerPoint presentation, let alone wrote my script. Oh wait, I'm sorry, I don't even know what the goddamn project is about!

But I digress. After the audition I met up with Mel again and I went off about how bad I feel for Feather, and then Mel saw her gorgeous teacher walk by and went into spasms, the way I do when I see Feather around, and then I was like, "I think I'll give him a card. I feel so bad for him." And Mel was like, "Yeah, I think I will too." And after a while she went, "Oh I know! I'll give [insert name of the teacher she likes] a secret admirer letter!"

Hahahahahahahaha. It's so damn retarded, the things we were saying. And if you're still wondering when I'm going to get to the interesting bit, well, I've already finished the story. Bad or non-existent punch line, I know, but too bad, I'm hungry and hence, I cannot think.

I am quite serious about the card though. I mean, I wanted to go to the mall near my house to get something but my mom drove me home and so I couldn't. It's gonna be anonymous, of course, as there's no way in hell I can expose my identity as it'll be a serious blow to my reputation and my pride. Which makes no sense, but that's just the way it is.

So I'll put it in an inconspicuous white envelope and leave it in his tray and hope he never sees it but yeah. Why am I doing this, I hear you ask. I did want to do it before but after what happened yesterday at LT5, which I will recount later if I feel like it, I didn't want to anymore as I thought it would be a bit too obvious as I haven't exactly been laying very low these few days. But after hearing about how he walked out of his class, I just want to do it again. And I really think it sucks that he's not my teacher as he's so cool and I really admire him, though I don't have any justifiable reasons to, apart from his Literature major. It's just the way that he carries himself. He's so elegant and self-assured but without an air of arrogance, unlike the way I tend to do it. He's so comfortable and relaxed, almost languid, and I want to be around him just to soak up that amazing energy he radiates.

It's not even about anything romantic as I'm convinced that I can never get past the fact that he's a teacher while I'm a student. It's too weird. It's an admiration, rather than a crush, although I do think he's awfully good-looking, but that's part of the package, isn't it?

So yeah, I'm just going to write the note/letter/card. Hopefully he's feeling better now. God, I'd hate to see him get upset. It'll be like a streak of vandalising paint on a perfect painting.

I'll probably recount the LT5 mini-incident later on, though it's nothing serious, as I gotta go for dinner now.

Yeah, I know, I spent forty minutes writing about a teacher but I'm just like that.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010