pseudo-communication.
written: 3:13 p.m. on Friday, Jul. 22, 2005

Okay, I will attempt to get back on track by doing what I do best: Making fun of people.

So this whole Friendster thing has been hilarious. Desperate guys on Friendster hoping to score with a hot chick should take note: Sending insipid messages like "Can I be your friend?" isn't going to work; receiving a reply doesn't mean that you've scored either, because the hot chick in question could be harbouring the ill intention of making fun of you instead. It's a sad, sad world; even worse when guys send you weird messages that go "Can I be your friend?" and genuinely expect a reply.

What am I supposed to say to that, pray tell? I'm not in kindergarten anymore (thank goodness). You don't say "yes I wanna be friends" and magically become friends with another person. It's so silly, and it's such an obvious euphemism for "I think I'd like to get into your pants one day" that I don't know whether to laugh hysterically or to cry despondently.

This dude added me as a friend and I was trying to figure out who he is, if I even know him, and when his face still drew a blank I sent a message, like, "Hi, who are you?" He answered something along the lines of, "You don't know me; I'm the one who wants to know you."

Which makes no sense, because how is adding someone onto your long, meaningless list of "friends" a step towards knowing the person? People are just weird.

Anyway, I seriously have problems sleeping nowadays. I can't believe I opened my eyes at 8.30 this morning, thinking that it was 1 in the afternoon. I miss the days in which I could sleep so soundly past 1 and wake up just in time for lunch.

A thought: I dislike SMS. I like receiving SMSes but when it comes to the replying part, my enthusiasm for it wans pretty significantly. And then there's that whole deal with waiting for the other party to SMS back, and when he doesn't you wonder if it's something you said, paranoia in full bloom and I really hate it. How is it supposed to enhance human interaction/communication? It doesn't. If anything, it retards communication between two people, make it so superficial that it's sickening. Words get truncated - literally and figuratively - when you try to squeeze so many thoughts into one puny text message that it cheapens your attempt to communicate, so that the end result is only half of what could've been if it were a face-to-face conversation instead, or even a phone call. I've never liked talking on the phone either, but it's definitely preferable to sending text messages - it feels more genuine, with greater immediacy, not quite like you're "talking" to a bunch of black letters against a white screen instead of an actual human being.

And then there are just things that I refuse to talk about via SMS. Breaking up with guys is one thing I always do face-to-face, no matter how badly I always trip over my words. Telling guys I like them, exactly the same thing. There's so much to be said, so much to talk about that SMSing everything just seems so wrong, like it's such a major crime against humanity to pack everything into a 160-character text message. It probably wouldn't matter in the long run but what does "the long run" matter when we're living in the moment?

So this morning's 1.57 a.m. SMS was...I don't know what to say, how much to say, what to keep to myself, what to divulge, I wish people didn't freaking read this but there you go.

I'll probably come clean with everything in the long run where it won't matter. For now, I'll continue being exasperatingly vague and incoherent.

I think I'll go for a swim and get a chunk of water stuck in my ear. Sounds good to me. I'll probably fall asleep in the pool floating on my back and catch pneumonia and die.

HAHAHA. Somehow, that just seemed really funny to me.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010